Suicide notes

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A1231988, Apr 15, 2012.

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  1. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    Do you think it makes it easier or harder for the ones close to you to get your honest and unfiltered explanation of all of the turmoil and pain you were in after you go?
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    My son left no note. I don't know if it would have made any difference though either way... Regardless, he destroyed my wife and my life forever... the life of his two brothers... and quite possibly many of the 400+ friends who came to his services. I love him so much, but am so angry that he was so selfish and destroyed so many lives by what he did. Don't do this to the ones you care about. Period.
  3. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    I'm sure it wasn't his intention to hurt any of you. You should try to be less angry and realize he probably felt he had no other option.
  4. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    My dad left no note and I wish he had. I don't know if he meant for it to be successful or if it was like his other attempts which were cries for help. I also don't know what was going through his mind, did he really feel that things would not get better or was he doing it just to make us all 'sorry' and feel bad for leaving him. (mum left him and took me and my youngest brother after 25 years of domestic violence and he broke down and killed himself 6 months later)

    So imo yes a note would at leats explain some things and help answer those questions of 'why'.....but you still have to deal with everything esle just the same. The grief and loss and pain. It will probably lead to further questions too like could we have helped them deal with this or that issue better etc. I think never truly knowing any reason why though will turn your head screws even more til the end of your days.

    Despite this I still hate suffering and hating myself and every minute of my life and I only wish something would happen to me naturally. I've talked to my mum enough so she understands why I want to die. But she will never get it, because she does not live with what I do.

    it is so easy to look at someone else and just ask them or expect them to keep living with the suffering they do. I often wonder why is it okay for you to go through life in sheer, utter, disgustingly horrific turmoil and pain, but not anybody esle ie your family. If someone can ask me to live with this pain, why am I not allowed to ask someone else to. There's all levels of selfishness at work here but I don;t believe they are all coming from my side. (Another selfish comment)
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    He had every other option. EVERYONE in the world should be ANGRY about suicides. It is absolutely senseless and can be prevented.
  6. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    Just because he had options doesn't mean he felt he did. Suicide is never logical, and people that feel suicidal should not be treated with anger and disgust.
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    There is no "disgust" and that is somewhat presumptuous. Myself, I started a 501c3 foundation to address suicide prevention, quit my other work and became employed by a local MHMR hospital, am a member of my state's Suicide Prevention Council, and work closely in support of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. People who survive something like this are left with many issues to overcome. Anger over the selfish actions of a loved one is natural, but it is not anger with the individual. There is always a solution and there are always options. There are more and more efforts being made to make this more known to people contemplating suicide. Even this forum offers options through support. Bottom line, in response to your original post, the presence of or not of a note means very little in the scheme of things. Death always causes pain and can destroy those you care about. Stating this is sort of the "tough love" response that probably was not expected.
  8. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Suicidle tendancies are very hard to deal with and when you are in that state of mind you are not thinking rationally but is why you should have a plan in place like getting yourself to a hosp or docs or whatever safe house you have put in this plan.At the end of the day when somebody takes their life they do leave behind loved ones and friends>Now this can cause them alot of pain and anger and actually push them over the edge as some ppl can end up blaming themselves thinking they could have done more.There are other choices other than suicide and most problems can be dealt with sometimes just takes time.
  9. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    Most are senseless I agree. My dads was. There is a minority though that are understandable. Human beings have limits.

    Of course understanding the reasons why does not mean I would approve of them doing it. But serious pain - emotional, physical or otherwise - can become too overbearing and push a person past their limit. It is so sad and yes people should be angry you are right. But in some cases they should be angry not just at the person, but at whatever caused the pain in the first place. It is normal to be angry but it is also okay to just feel sad and accept that the person was in unimaginable pain and if this was always going to be the way they would have to live then they chose to be released from it.

    Again, I speak for minorities. I believe a lot of people's depression can be helped and lives can be made bearable. They can be pro-active, make changes, improve situations/problems and find something good to enjoy out of all the badness. Things can get better in their futures instead of getting worse. But this just isn't the case for all of us. :(
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Death is always going to be hard for the ones close to you. I don't think a note would make the grieving process any less for them to be honest. They would still be in pain.
    Please don't suicide. Take it from someone who was very near death in intensive care from a suicide attempt, it's not worth it. Talk about how you're feeling, let it out, death won't make you happy.
  11. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    I just don't really have it in me to continue anymore. I've been running on E for years, and I just can't handle it anymore. I refuse to battle this and be miserable for the rest of my natural life.
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