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Suicide on Saturday Night

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I actually just recently attempted, it was a week and a half ago, on Saturday night.
Half way through I got cold feet, but I kept going. When I thought that I should have fallen unconscious, I didn't. Instead I got huge pains in my stomach and my head started hurting. I googled directions to my nearest hospital and walked there - it took me at least an hour.
After I was in, I had about ten blood tests, a drip attached to my arm and they were monitoring my heart rate, pulse and blood pressure. I had an ECG as well.
Less than twelve hours later - roughly nine - I was admitted to a medical facility for teens with a mental health problem. I had been living there for a week and a half, I just got out on Wednesday. I hated every second, and I bullshitted to the psychiatrist so I could come out. Now I don't know what to do, I have to see a follow up psychologist and I don't know whether I should bullshit to them or say the truth.
I have to have a test to see if I need meds as well.


Antiquities Friend
I paid dearly for lying to get out. Nothing really happened, but my pdoc doesn't trust me.

I've bullshitted him once last month, because I didn't want to see him. I have an appt with him again on the 2nd. I debate as to whether to tell him the truth about the voices or not. I am in stark denial about the whole thing. I get tired of the fact that I repeat the same thing over and over again.

'Do you feel better? How are the voices?' 'They are OK...' (where I should really tell him that they want him dead, and not helping me, because I am the chosen one, the one that will save mankind through my blood atonement - Yes, they have convinced me that I am God on many occasions)

'That's good. Is there anything I can do for you?' 'Just refill my meds.' 'OK, here you go!'

That's pretty much what I did last month. My voices try to convince me that I am homicidal or suicidal. Sometimes even those lines are blurred.

So don't lie! Whatever you do, don't. The staff are there to help you, if you will only let them.
I dont want to lie, but I fear I could be put in hospital again or something.
I think I will tell the truth this time though, I need to get better for my best friend - she's already gone through her friend suiciding, I can't do that again.

I just hope I don't lose my motivation, because Im not getting better for myself :S


Staff Alumni
Hi Baboyah,

This is coming from a person who BSed his way out of hospitals a few times: I don't recommend it. I felt guilty, like I couldn't cope, and things weren't much better when I got out of the hospital. Every single time, within 24 hours after being discharged, I was back to my starting point - desperate, feeling suicidal, wanting to go back to the hospital but embarrassed to, etc.

Though they might make you feel locked up and craving freedom, hospitals do keep you safe and in a routine. Whether they can do more than that for you depends on the person and the hospital and the doctors/therapists there etc.

In fact, the first time I was discharged, I was hospitalized again before my follow up appointment day came. Best of luck. I hope the hospital you stayed at before wasn't too bad. Probably not desirable, but bearable I hope.


P.S. Welcome to SF forums :)
Unfortunately, our mental health system doesn't really give much respect to people with issues; very paternalistic and authoritarian etc. I would give enough information to get the help you need, but only that. Be very careful about what you tell mental health professionals because you can get stuck in a shitty hospital quite easily...and often one won't be treated with much respect (like a human being who is the same as them but has issues) there either. Even if a psych doesn't want to send you, they might anyway because of liability issues in our lawsuit happy culture...
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