I'm not sure where to post this. I'm not about to go and end my life, yes the feelins of death are still there but not as intense as they have been, maybe its contentment because I can control when I die. When I saw the pysicaitrist last week, he asked if my suicide attempts where cries for help, initial reaction NO I wanted and want to die...He went over the suicide attempts, the first one...cry for help, anger, or wanting to die...thinking back to the time, it was a spontanous reaction...it was anger. The second one...wasn't sure..but I guess life had become unbearable and it was possibly a cry for help as I live to tell the tale.. He went on asking, until he came to the attempt last Sunday Nite/Monday Morning...I told him it was planned..But I couldn't do it, I could hurt people I care for...he said it was a cry for help, maybe it was... Does this mean I don't want to die, I just want help ~ But how can I get help when i can't communicate how I'm feeling, I can only show by actions? Yes, I am "lucky" as I'm seeing a pyschotherapist and pyschiatrist, but they can only be as good as I let them, they can only help me if I help me....But how, when I feel like a broken record, saying I can't cope with Life, I feel lonely, I'm sad, I have nothing that entertains me, nothing to live for..I want to die..how can they help me?