Things are getting pretty bad for me atm, I've been working in a crap unskilled job for nearly 20 years that pays barely minimum wage, haven't even held a woman's hand in as many years let alone been in a relationship, at the age of 34 I've only been in one 3 month relationship in my entire life, I've lived in one small room for the last 10 years paying 80% of what little wages I get to various landlords, my current place of residence is being sold so I have to move on, I have no money, I feel depressed and suicidal, just the thought of going into work makes me want to end it all. I don't have any grades, I'm basically stupid, I find very simple tasks hard to master, and I'm ugly to boot so even charming my way into a better life is out of the equation, so therefore doomed to crap jobs for the rest of my life. I don't know how to socialise with people, never have done, I even remember being in my first school not understanding how to interact with other children, I was always perplexed as to how they got along together so well as I stood on the sideline watching alone. All my friends have grown up and moved on, most have families and children of their own and I never really hear from them. I'm basically scared and alone, and honestly tired of this life, I have to move on but I don't know what direction to take, I'm thinking of plucking up the courage to finish it or I could move back to my home city but that will probably mean living on the streets, what's the point in going on if I don't have any prospects or any redeeming qualities?, part of me says 'well I've got nothing to lose living on the streets, at least give it a go' and another part of me keeps pushing me to end it. The way I see it it's simple science, I'm just bad DNA, an unfortunate calibration of genes from my parents, it's a case of survival of the fittest and unfortunately I'm far form being one of the fittest, why should I carry on when it's obvious that I'm not worthy of this existence?, what right do I have to be a burden to society?