Suicide Plan

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by adde989, May 22, 2010.

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  1. adde989

    adde989 Member


    I have long had suicidal thoughts with a suicide attempt about a year ago where I ended up in a psychiatric ward. < Mod edit Hazel: method >. I still have some anxiety feelings about this and thats why I write this. I have gone to th train station to try a prepare myself or maybe do it earlier.

    I'm not good writing long messages so maybe I can write back instead.

    PS. English is not my first language in case it matters.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2010
  2. adde989

    adde989 Member

    I can't talk to my family because they are expecting me to go to a vacation with my father and it would really disappoint them if I told them.

    Also I think it would be best in the long run to stop being such a burden on them. With my future and all. I do bring them down a lot, specially my mother.
  3. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Hello and welcome to Sf, I have edited your post as we do not allow methods or time scales on Sf.
    I'm glad that you have found our forum and hope that talking to us will help you through this crisis.

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    your family is your life line now go on vacation with your father and talk be open with him abt how you feeling so he can help you okay
  5. adde989

    adde989 Member

    He can't help me, I remember when he said last year that he would see me on the other side, they are so tired of worrying about me. I suspect they don't love me that much. I think they would be happier in the long run without me.

    I remember the last time I said I had serious suicidal thoughts, they were so disappointed.

    Also I don't really care about the vacation, it won't help me and I don't think it will help him either.

    Damn it, me being alive will only prolong the suffering.
  6. adde989

    adde989 Member

    Frankly, My doubts about commit suicide is going away quickly, unfortunately or maybe fortunately.

    I have a therapist I go to but when I discuss this with her it only increases my suicidal thoughts. I even think she is getting convinced its the right choice.
  7. SeanW

    SeanW Member

    No she doesn't, you're just reading it that way.. I know it's hard but keep seeing her and try to take positives.
  8. adde989

    adde989 Member

    I'm pretty sure she does, with her responses and such. What does take positives mean?
  9. SeanW

    SeanW Member

    Then get a new therapist.. Take positives just mean look at things in a good way, try to take the good aspects of your life and self and focus on them :)
  10. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    I was feeling suicidal a few weeks ago when my sister invited me down for a weeks holiday with them. I seriously did not want to go but my mental health team convinced me to give it a go and it was a really positive experience. I can't say it was wonderful or anything.........but it made me realise that they do care about me............

    Why would your dad want to spend time with you if he did not love you? Peoples holiday-time is precious and he has chosen to spend this to include you?

    Your therapist definitely does not think you should commit suicide. She may though, be running out of things to suggest to you, so ask her........tell her that you think she wants you to kill yourself............she will be horrified.....

    Also talk to your pdoc.........there are so many new meds that he can try you need more support at this time......hang in there.....please don't do do have people who care and would be devastated by your loss..........take good care and keep talking.....shaz
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