Suicide seems so tempting

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aki, Mar 13, 2009.

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  1. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I dunno why, I have a lot of things to live for. I like a lot about life, I'm quite passionate. Also I'm completely numb and feel basically nothing, so it's not an overload of pain. I just can't be bothered anymore.
  2. HOW

    HOW Well-Known Member

    Hey hun, sorry to hear that you're feeling bad.

    Can't say that I'm feeling better. Today was the first time since a long time that I was thinking about suicide again. But you need to erase those thoughts from your head, they are caused by depression and are only negative thoughts. You can control your thoughts and need to aknowledge which thoughts are good and which ones are bad and learn how to defeat them.

    You really should try meditating. Lie on the floor, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Let your mind go and understand your thoughts. Learn your mind.

    You got any goals set out (I didn't forget :D, I hope you didn't)?
    You can look forward to the SF meet-up in Dublin, the spring/summer time and taking pictures of the wonderful nature around you.

    Are you still taking your meds?
  3. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Thanks Michael :hug: I have been trying to meditate, I find it hard to let go and lose myself though. I need to relax though, it feels like I'm totally on edge and I've put all the worry into my eating. It's kind of hard right now. Sorry you're feeling bad :sad:
    I am still taking my meds...and I have goals I want to achieve :unsure:
    Thanks for saying the thoughts are depressive thoughts and probably not logical coherent ones. It helps to kind of seperate it from yourself, so you can try and cut it out like a disease or whatever, instead of being entwined with your personality and life. It helps me anyway.
  4. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hi Ripper, sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Depression tries to trick us with these thoughts. Don't fall for it. Here if you ever need to chat. Best wishes, Simon.:smile:
  5. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on things. Suicidal thoughts can be addictive. So you may have to deal with them for a very long time.
  6. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    There's nothing wrong with being tempted to end your life.

    Your initial post was interesting cos it's full of contradictions.

    You are passionate about life and have loads of things to live for, but you feel numb.

    Maybe it's the lack of feeling, tiredness and edginess that goes into your eating which is where you could explore, to make sense of why you're feeling the way you are.

    Medication can make you feel numb and exhausted too. :dunno:
  7. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone.

    snowraven, thanks for saying that, it helps to think that way :smile:

    justafool, hah I guess I am stable in a lot of ways, but I'm not in a lot of other ways. Yes I think suicidal thoughts are very addictive. I hope it's not a lifetime thing though :( but thanks for your reply.

    ggg, yes I read back over it and thought wtf that doesn't make much sense :laugh: but I guess I'm 'complicated' haha. I'm trying to seperate food from my emotions, with not much success, but I'm thinking about it all. And yeah I think these pills I'm on are making me tired and numb :dry:
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Even when I have everything going for me I want to end it because I know that depression is there for me just waiting for everything to fall apart. Even if it's not... suicide just always seems like the answer.
    You're not alone Elizabeth. That is the important thing. You've got people here for you who know EXACTLY how you feel!
    :hug: :heart:
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