I haven't thought about suicide or been depressed for probably a year, but just today it (suicidality; yes, i made that up) came back to me. This post is just a rant: I think this suicide-thinking tendency is brought on by my failure to be successful in what i do. I've graduated with a B.A. but its really just looking like a waste of time that i've spent in uni. I just turned 25 in feb. I hate working in retail. I don't want to get stuck in this predicament. And my high E guitar string broke, dampened my spirits. So, i thought about suicide. If, years from now, twenty or thirty, i am going to commit suicide, then the future me would think "should have done it way sooner." So past me is thinking, yeah, he's right. I am an idiot for not doing it sooner. But, i'm not suicidal, just the tendency to have those thoughts. I don't even think i'm depressed.