''I want to die''. That's all I can say. What is the point? Whenever I ask somebody that I never get a straight answer, and now I know why.. THERE IS NO POINT! I was told over three years ago that things would get better. They haven't. How can I be optimistic? What is the point in living with this misery when I'm going to die anyway. Infact, I don't know why I'm even typing this - I don't have a problem with me committing suicide in the future. I'm not scared of death, I'm scared of life. It actually hurts to live, everyday is a struggle. The only things that make me happy are slicing my arms open, burning myself or thinking of death. Antidepressants help a little. They sort of numb my mental torture. The only reason I take the Seroquel is to try and sedate myself. Damn, I'm messed up. I like the fact that suicide is always an option for me. People view it as negative. I don't. Everybody dies, don't they? I dream of my death and the songs I'll be listening to in the last hour of my life. I'll get rid of this depression that has consumed my life for TOO long. I'd no longer rely on cutting myself to make me happy. I'll be dead. Numb. Anything is better than this.