Suicide, suicide, suicide..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ruby, Feb 10, 2007.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    ''I want to die''.

    That's all I can say. What is the point? Whenever I ask somebody that I never get a straight answer, and now I know why..

    THERE IS NO POINT!

    I was told over three years ago that things would get better. They haven't. How can I be optimistic? What is the point in living with this misery when I'm going to die anyway. Infact, I don't know why I'm even typing this - I don't have a problem with me committing suicide in the future. I'm not scared of death, I'm scared of life. It actually hurts to live, everyday is a struggle. The only things that make me happy are slicing my arms open, burning myself or thinking of death. Antidepressants help a little. They sort of numb my mental torture. The only reason I take the Seroquel is to try and sedate myself. Damn, I'm messed up.

    I like the fact that suicide is always an option for me. People view it as negative. I don't. Everybody dies, don't they? I dream of my death and the songs I'll be listening to in the last hour of my life. I'll get rid of this depression that has consumed my life for TOO long. I'd no longer rely on cutting myself to make me happy. I'll be dead. Numb. Anything is better than this.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 10, 2007
  2. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    I hope this doesn't come off as being offensive Ruby. Well, I think this has been said many times here on the forums, the fact that you posted that means that you do want to get better and really don't wish to die no? I mean, you are posting as a cry for help. You don't really wish to die, but that you feel that there is absolutely no way to cure your pain and so the only option left now is suicide am I correct? But it still seems as though you haven't quite given up all hope yet, your still hoping for some miracle, anything to come along and get you out of this emotional mental misery your in right now.
     
  3. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Ruby,

    I'm sorry that depression has engulfed your life so much these past years. I know you said you don't know why you're posting here, but i'm wondering if by posting it it has somehow helped you? Maybe to know that you're not alone with your feelings and that people can relate?

    I wish I had the right words to say to help.. all I can do is let you know that I have read your post and i hear you. You are definitely not alone.. please hold on, and keep posting if it helps

    :rose:
    Jenny x
     
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