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Suicide: The ones left behind

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by b-rock, May 17, 2013.

  1. b-rock

    b-rock Well-Known Member

    I lost my sister long ago
    Memories of her are but old
    And when she passed my heart broke turned frozen cold
    Happiness lost beneath the snow no peace to hold
    Buried I tried to reach for hope
    And when I did my hand came back old
    Crippled and mangled like a noose
    Around her neck that strangles
    I became a stranger mind lost in its own
    Empty barren and alone
    Moans of pain washed down by bitter woes
    Dumbfounded to what ensues
    Lost I have no purpose, no pursuit
    And I’m confused, I don’t know what to do
    Because this grief, this pain it just consumes
    Till you’re separated from the world in a locked room
    You hope for change to come soon but it’s not safe to presume
    Cause things just don’t happen-no
    in this world you reap what you sow
    if I could go back I would just want you to know
    that I’m your bro and I’d be there for you no matter the beef
    that blood is thicker than water deeper than sea
    I’m sorry I couldn’t see couldn’t understand couldn’t think
    i was blinded by my reality now I pause and let the gravity of me decisions sink
    cause I turned my back on my sister because of a grudge
    if there is a god then she is chilling above
    I wish I could just give you a hug
    Cause I never did
    truth be told you raised me as a kid
    I just sit playing with what ifs
    But time doesn’t rewind and ain’t that a b****
    Mom and dad are broken bits just plain sick
    Selfish is what you did but selfish of me to point this finger
    I just let my thoughts simmer and these emotions linger
    I wish I could tell you I became bigger that with your death I became more
    but instead I feel I have not to live for
    But I know I am fortunate but I just can’t cope with this
    Cause hope is s*** and my pain just grows
    And no matter how much you learn you could never know
    cause don’t ever assume you know my pain
    cause yours is not the same
    cause pain can’t be compared and life it’s just not fair
    and my life I just don’t care
    spend my time looking out my window at the stars I stare
    Thinking about other worlds and other things I wait to hear my fat lady sing
    and here’s a lesson to be learned from suicide
    when you choose to take your own life and die you don’t die by yourself
    instead you take a piece of everyone’s soul that every cared
    and part of their life dies with you there
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yup you go that right hun their is more then one death that happens when one suicides god there is lost my bro and the pain the sadness stays after years it stays im sorry hun you are suffering so much too so sorry for you pain and the loss of your sister hugs
  3. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    You've hit the mark b-rock - when loved ones are gone a piece of our soul goes with them and, while we each experience our losses uniquely still thinking maybe we have a little insight, we cannot know or truly comprehend another's experience, intensity, despair ... thank you for sharing a part of you with us. I am sorry for your loss and that you have such pain ~ I would prefer if no one ever had to experience these things but that is called fantasy...