So everything was going fine for a while since the police came round and stopped me from killing myself and got me in touch with a team of psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors which got my life back on track. They finished their job and I was ok for a few months. Until I noticed that my medication was again affecting me in a bad way this time my balance and having migraines where i can't see anything at all (last time with zoloft it was nausea and lethargy) so I went to my doctor. AGAIN, another doctor didn't want to hear what I had to say and basically told me to get over it. I get migraines every day because of it. I'm in touch with my old psychologist who has helped in the past and is the best one that I have been to but I still feel guilty about taking to her about my problems because she has her own issues to deal with. I have just got back at uni from a break. I don't fit in with any of the perfect people in my classes and I feel like a freak all the time. I don't think that I am anywhere as near as smart at them at all. I already failed my maths class and now I have to get tutored and do it again. I can't get away from the depression and the fact that life is shit and I still have flashbacks from the rape. Again, when i told a doctor about this issue they told me to get over it. I am so fed up with life and I cannot see any point in holding on any longer because I have tried hard all my life in everything and never get what I want out of it. I just want it all to stop I can't deal with this anymore. I want to be free. I don't want to have to care anymore. So I have decided to kill myself and donate my organs so I can be of some use to the world in my seemingly selfish act of taking my own life. The only problem is I think I heard somewhere that they won't accept the organs of someone who has suicided because an autopsy needs to be done. I live in Australia, every country has different laws and rules though. And no, I really do not think that my life and be of more use with me being alive and using it. My life has proved that over amd over again with horrible things happening again and again despite my efforts to make a better life for myself and those around me. I've tried everything to make it better and nothing works. I have no idea what else to do. I can't just hang on because I have nothing to hang on to. My family doesn't understand and my friends would be too freaked out if they knew anything that was going on. This is the only way.