Suicide - Why Not

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FunkyFresh, Apr 1, 2010.

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  1. FunkyFresh

    FunkyFresh New Member

    I'm a 15-year-old guy. I can't really think of a reason not to kill myself.

    The loneliness is killing me. I can be shy, but I talk too much sometimes. And I say really stupid/awkward/offensive things. I finally made friends for the first time in my life (real-life friends, as in not just on the internet) at the beginning of this school year, but of course I ruined it and the others got sick of me. I'm so lonely. There's a bunch of assholes and idiots at my school and they all have a shitload of friends. I talk to this girl in my math class every day, and I went to the mall with her and her friend once. But then they got to know me and they stopped talking to me, and started hanging out with a shy kid who never talked. At my old school, I always got picked on because I never talked. And she becomes friends with the girl I've wanted to be friends with for awhile now. It makes me so angry. And a kid came to visit our school for a week, and he had lunch with the girl and her friends. And he was there for 2 days. She and her friends always complain that their friend Mike is an asshole but they hang out with him anyways.

    I annoy everyone somehow. I offend them or say something awkward/retarded. The selfless thing to do would be to kill myself, since it would make everyone I know happy, right? I'm being selfish because I don't have the balls to actually do it. I'm wasting food, space, air, money and time. I hate myself so much, there's absolutely nothing good about me. I have no skills (but I can get conceited and think that I do), so it's not like I'm contributing anything to the world.

    I don't know what to do anymore.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to SF!

    Sorry to hear you are down but ya know I have to tell you I think all teenagers go through a tough time in which they are socially awkward and have trouble making and keeping friends. I do not mean to belittle your situation in the slightest way but stick around here a bit and you will see you are far from alone in your feelings on this matters.

    Regarding your wanting to kill yourself I doubt very much anyone will be happy about that! I may feel that way inside right now cuz your so sad but what about your family? They would be devastated I am sure about that.

    Well again welcome. I am sure you will find this place to be supportive and you will meet others that can relate to you, understand you and want to be friends with you.

    Hope to get to know you and you can PM me anytime if you would like.

    Hugs Bambi
  3. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    I have to agree with Bambi, you are going trough probably the hardest time in your life where we all are very vulnrable to all the things that happen to and around us. your problem is most likely temporarely and therefor suicide will not be any good for you as it is an permanent solution. i know it sounds cheap and easy but once you are 25 you will think so much different about those nasty times you have had in school. you say you have no skills, com on buddy, you are 15, you do not need to have any skills you are surposed to have fun and learn in that age. i didnt have any skills either in your age. stay around us and if you need to find some profesional help. have you allready spoke to your parents and told them how you feel and what you are going trough ? hang in there buddy. you may pm me anytime if you feel like you need someone to talk to
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    as the others have said teenage years are tough.....I can hear your pain....
    I hope you will tell your parents how you feel about being suicidal so they can help and support you.....
    I also hope you will get some counceling to help talk out your problems...
    you could learn cognitive behaviour therapy and assertiveness as well from the councelor to make you feel more at ease with your interactions with others...
    I hope you will find some support here talking to us...
    take care...
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...learning to be in a group takes some practice for some ppl, and there are wonderfully skilled therapists who can help you with that...many ppl have social anxiety which makes them open their mouths and put their foot in it...when one learns to reduce the anxiety, the conversations flow much better...please see if there are any services for sound like someone ppl would want to know once you become more skillful at talking...big hugs, J
  6. VonBlown

    VonBlown Well-Known Member

    You seem to have a good sense of humor. You might want to work on polishing that. Like jerry Sienfeld said, one of the reasons he became a comedian. Is that he found if you made someone laugh you could get them to do almost anything.
  7. Lunar Pixie

    Lunar Pixie Member

    <Mod edit:Irishdoll,Unsupportive> you might feel sometimes like jumping into a different world, like the adult world, a more serious less qq less stupidity world, where, the thing is to my irony, that in all levels these things are seen, as well as the wonderful things, genious kids who are serius with an adult mentality, they exist, ya, but also you will see dork adults, and that really sux, buncha grown up tards jeezx, worst thing to ever see, anyway try to adopt an adult mentality now coz it seems like ur the fast mental groiwn up kind, and find some smart girl out there

    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2010
  8. tiggersafire

    tiggersafire SF Veteran

    I know what you mean... I have a really hard time making and keeping friends due to an ASD. It gets better... The cool thing is there are actually social skills training groups and things like that to help too. Teachers and guidance counselors can help too. I don't understand people and it's lead me to think about how pointless it is to live in a world of people I don't understand but I've realized there is a point and there is help.
  9. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I was suicidal when I was a teenager in high school also. I was awkward, and had very few friends, and every day was miserable and I just wanted out. I figured, no one liked me or needed me so it was ok if I killed myself, right? Well, I was so wrong. I ran away and my mom found notes I had written about being depressed and wanting to kill myself. They sent the cops after me which was hell, but they saved my life. They got me professional help. I can honestly say I am much better off now that I am older. It still sucks sometimes, and I still get depressed sometimes, but I am glad I am here. I have a partner now, and nephews and a niece. I love them all. I couldn't hurt them by killing myself. For now, that is enough to keep me alive. Just know it gets better, and there is help out there for you. We all care about you here too.:hug:
  10. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    Everyone thinks they're shit when your our age ;)

    I know from experience. I've talked to some of the most popular and friendly guys in my year who think they're annoying and that they're not liked. Your not the best person to judge yourself.
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