suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ohwell1993, Aug 25, 2013.

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  1. ohwell1993

    ohwell1993 New Member

    My story is a crazy one some dont believe or just dont want to. My note that people find will be much more real. I plan to off myself soon. Its just lately ive felt so depressed. I moved myself into a apartment I cant afford, have problems ive never dealt with as a child, I cant keep a job, and before meth I had dreams. Now I cant think of what I want to do the next day, I feel alone and am gettin so frustrated to where all I can think about is murder and suicide. Im stuck with the feeling that nothin will ever get better. Im disapointed because I use to feel like I was someone special, someone destined for greatness, like god had a plan for me. Now I wonder if there is even a god, or a plan. Im a 19 year old drop out, a fucked up family, no real friends, and a place ill soon loose. I have no dreams amd walk around losr, trying to find my center. To proud to admit thoughts of suicide or to talk about everything, so I bug my girlfriend in the middle of the night because I know shell turn me down. All I want is a hug and someone who understands without me saying anything. I dream of drugs and murder now. No longer the dreams of me saving the world or great battles, just me hitting a pilo with my life spinning out of control. I want to do meth once more...feel the rush of my old friend. Then do it, then get rid of me. I am a waist of skin. A liar, a cheater, a manipulator, and I dont deserve to be here.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No hun you are not any of those things people call you YOU are ill depressed and you do need compassion and care. You talk ok swallow the pride and talk to your doctor and get the help YOU deserve hugs
     
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