Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by fvckinginsane, Dec 30, 2013.

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  1. fvckinginsane

    fvckinginsane Active Member

    ive got everything all planned out. the date, my method, my suicide note. it's going to be lovely for me, finally I'll be gone. i dont want to be alive anymore. dont tell me i have a right to be here and that I'll hurt everyone around me. no one seems to be bothered they hurt me. I'm just glad my life will be over and done with very soon.
  2. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    So you want to kill yourself at 15 years of age?
  3. fvckinginsane

    fvckinginsane Active Member

    and whats the problem with that? if youre gonna lecture me or some shit then actually fuck off, age shouldn't matter in a situation like this
  4. ronnymarie

    ronnymarie Guest

    You said in another thread that your parents worry too much. That kind of sounds like they do care. Do they have any idea how bad you feel? Is there any reason you can’t talk to them?
  5. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member


    first of all... you are right, age does not matter in a situation like this. far too many teens and young children suicide everyday. it doesn't matter what age you are, suicidal feelings are very real and very concerning.

    that doesn't take away the fact that it is sad to see someone so young feel this way. in a perfect world... someone at the age of 15 still is looking forward to finding the love of their life (possibly still hasn't even discovered their first love and is still daydreaming about that too), still excited by going on outings with their friends, looking forward to school dances and other events, dreaming of what career they will try for later in life and what their life will be like after that, being thrilled by the first time a boy or girl smiles at them in a way of saying "you matter to me", having fun in general...but the truth is, teens and young kids are affected by reality too... they hurt too, and its not all about their hormones. they get abused. they get raped. they get bullied. they get teased mercilessly. they have their first failures and let downs. they have hard times with tests or other scholastic achievements. they have fights/arguments with friends and family. sometimes, they even have to deal with the death of someone they loved or cared for. they have their own set of problems and those problems have very real consequences.

    i remember talking to you when you first started posting here... and ronny is right, you did sound more like your parents cared about you back then. has something changed to make you feel different now? i keep thinking maybe i'll see you in chat, i really think you could find a lot of support there...but i've never seen you log in there, are you scared to? what has happened to get you to the point of wanting to suicide? you say that people are not bothered if they hurt you, how have they hurt you? i want to help, but i just don't feel like i know enough information to be super helpful.

    just know this.... i care that you are hurting and i want to try to help that hurt stop. you don't need it. but... i dont think you need death either. you just need a big dose of happiness again.... but once you get this low, finding happiness usually doesn't come without you working toward it.... i hope you will be willing to do your part and put forth the effort needed to get there.

    one thing i have learned, in life... there is only one person you can count on to always be there for you.... you. that means you have to be your own best advocate and you have to be the one urging you on to keep it up... you have to be the one congratulating yourself when you complete a goal... you also have to be the one refusing to punish yourself when you make mistakes and just learn from them and try to do better and move on. its probably the hardest lesson life teaches and just as hard to accept... i'm not saying it is easy. its not. i'm 39 and still struggle with accepting that as a reality and trying to figure out how to deal with it... but in the times i am able to accept it, and grab on tight and become my own best advocate, those are the times true change happens.

    i hope you will find a love within yourself for yourself.... and decide that you deserve the chance at happiness just like everyone else.
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I felt the same way as you when I was 15, and even younger. I remember writing a will in class because I had just had enough. I doubt anyone knew, and I doubt they would have cared. So I know what it's like to feel so hopeless and like there's no way out. But I'm still here, almost 14 years later...I don't know what will happen in life, but I'm still willing to find out. I don't know why you feel the way you do, what has brought you to this point, but I hope you do keep posting here and don't give up.
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