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I'm not really sure if suicide is the answer, but it sure looks like it. I feel like everytime I do something good, something comes in and screws it up. The only reason I'm still living right now, is because I love this girl and I want to find out whats going to happen. I'm pretty sure it wont work out and that ill be hurt by that. I'm all fucked up right now, I need a gun. (I could kill those who cause pain, and I could go to Shangrai-La)


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What, so you feel like you can satisfy your rage by killing other people? Every killer has a "manifesto" of sorts to make themselves feel better for being homicidal. The Columbine kids, the Unibomber, Hitler...etc.

Live your life as it comes and try not to worry too much about the evil that others create. Just work on doing YOUR part to make the world better through your own good actions. You say something always comes in and screws up the good that you do. Well, you are not responsible for that, the same way I'm not responsible if I give a homeless person money and they go and buy crack. That is THEIR choice. My choice is to do a good thing, and that's all I can try to do.
hey, I understand that. I am afraid to get close to anyone, because everyone seems to hurt me, and I'm afraid...I can admit that...I know that if you really love this girl it will hurt if it doesnt work out...but you just have to think-what if it DOES work out? try not to think about all the pain your feeling right now, and focus on the fact that it might work...good luck.
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