Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by mfrieler, Jul 18, 2007.

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  1. mfrieler

    mfrieler Active Member

    I am the back-up, the shiter, the fall
    I am excused, I am, but I crawl
    Further, faster, notions leave me sick
    Slip into darkness, blinded, quick
    I am the coward, the excuse, the queer
    I am forgotten, I am, I grow near
    Falling, stop, left with false hope
    Bathe in darkness, numb, cope
    I am the darkness, the shadow, the sheep
    I am betrayed, I am, but I creep
    Stalling, nervous, drowning in this scent
    Held in by darkness, fucked, repent

    I am suicide, I can't give in
    Nothing held dear, nothing within
    I am blindness, circle of hate
    Losing my hope, destroying my fate

    You are the answer, blind trials of light
    This day is too long, just another fight

    I am suicide, wreaking havoc on the living
    I am suicide, bringing torture to the giving
  2. SoHappyItHurts

    SoHappyItHurts Well-Known Member

    Wow, this was fun to read.
    My favorite line:

  3. Eno

    Eno Guest

    I found this poem extremely striking. I felt the rawness behind it coming through powerfully. I especially liked the ending.

  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I love this poem. Job well done. I can't wait to see more.
  5. mfrieler

    mfrieler Active Member

    Thanks a lot for all the feedback. :D I love writing and this is one of my darkest/deepest poems.
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