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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scarab, Oct 29, 2007.

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  1. scarab

    scarab New Member

    So I'm currently sitting in my room, looking at my computer, thinking about a variety of things. Some of these are minor, like "Why do Microsoft keep forcing "blog"-centered shit down my throat?" and "I wonder what would happen if I styled my pubic hair?". Some of these are slightly more mind-crushing:

    I'm supposed to be a writer. I'm supposed to be going into writing as a career. I'm supposed to have written over a hundred stories. That's funny because I'm really a huge fraud. I can't write, have no ideas, you know, the rest of it. If I actualy did write something, I doubt many people would actually read it to be honest. In such a capitalist society, I'm not sure I'd be entirely successful, and that's an understatement in my opinion.

    And then there's why I'm actually here. The few people I liked to call friends never talk to me in any way, unless they need their computer fixing or something. If at any time God or Buddha or someone got up and made someone talk to me, they'd tell me I'm an "uneducated phillistine" and then hang up/log off/whatever. It's pleasant knowing no one you know really respects you.

    Over the years (I've had two attempts at suicide which I don't care to talk about), I've managed to build up a drinking problem. I only drink whisky, and possibly vodka. Usually they're just there as temporary solutions, sadly. Remember those friends? They encourage it. I would usually only drink until I'm dizzy, but now it's until I start singing. I never drink in company, though recently I've taken to doing it secretly at college since I'm stressed there quite often.

    Overall, as an unloved, unwanted and talentless sack of crap, I keep looking to venture suicide. I come here just to share this, since so fewer places are open like this. If I've broken any sort of rule, sorry, and if you want me to talk about something more, I'll go into it as long as I feel like it.
  2. JobForAVictim

    JobForAVictim Well-Known Member

    Trying to write well and to keep up with others' expectations can be tough. I assume you're studying English in college?
    You say that you cannot write, but I doubt that's the whole truth. Your post shows that you're witty, and you can form a coherent post about your life. It sounds more like you have trouble meeting others' expectations rather than a lack of actual writing ability. Just because you haven't produced the writing that others expect doesn't mean you're talentless, and it's not the end of the world. Even if you couldn't support yourself by writing alone, you could find another way to do so.
    Just some food for thought. It might be useful, it might not.

    I can't really help with the drinking, as I'm not experienced in such matters. Hopefully someone else here will understand that more thoroughly than I.
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    hey now that I think about it...i wonder too.... :rofl:
  4. scarab

    scarab New Member

    Anything is useful when it comes to writing, I think, even scathing critique (possibly the the most important thing). Anyway, thanks for the posts, it's more I can get than anywhere else. Looking back on it, my post is actually not that great, so I'll have to go into more detail if anyone asks anything.
  5. scarab

    scarab New Member

    Bit of advice if you ever decide to experiment: cut with scissors first, then shave. Trust me on this one.
  6. mad hatter

    mad hatter Active Member

    i used a hair straighteners on my pubes before it looked real funny!
  7. CuriosityWasFramed

    CuriosityWasFramed Well-Known Member

    I'm slighty disturbed by this...but back on topic!

    From what i saw in your origional post your very whitty and funny when you write. Have you ever thought about journalism? I read plenty of articles in that style of writing, so i can tell you that your certainly not talentless. You seem to have that spontaneous spark inside you that can be incredibly engaging to a reader. You dont have to write hundreds of stories to be a great writer.

    Don't convince yourself your talentless.
  8. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    What makes a movie a good one? Coz you, him or them liked it? If another doesn't like it does it make it a bad one? Don't think so. What respond to one's liking will be different to another. Same goes for writings. What counts in writing is to pass down a thought and reach someone..... or more. If succeed in passing down that thought to even a singular person then you have succeed. Thirty some years ago a friend told me this when discussing books/stories etc. There aren't bad books/stories/movies all is in the eyes of the beholder. Got my point?

    Writing is not a 'job' so if you want to apply your writing to be a productive mass machine like production then change field otherwise put in all your heart and go with the paste, yours tho

    Twice you ask to be invited to write in details..... well here is a formal invitation.... just to see if I am wright or you'll prove me wrong in what I think and wrote. :)
  9. lost_soul

    lost_soul Staff Alumni

    scarab, welcome to sf.
    sorry to hear about your difficulties. i think you write well. i used to read all the time. i would like to hear more of your story. i'm here if you ever want to talk.
    feel free to pm me or find me on msn
    take care, be safe, and be very careful with those pubic hairs:rofl:
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