Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin
It might be a good idea to take the email off - as its best to keep email private even though it would not turn up in any search.
As for your problems, feel free to expand a little - for example let us know what you have tried in the way of help if any.
As for reasons to live, there are many of those, but if you have depression then the reasons for living are the SAME as everyone else really, the difference being is that anyone with depression has to be able to overcome it or tame it so that they can allow some joy into their own lives.
After all if you felt OK in yourself you'd likely be happy with a holiday - or a festival. A romance would surely put the wind in your sails plus things like landing a job or getting promoted (sign on twice a week, lol)
Without depression holding you back, life takes on a whole new outlook. Even if you have struggled and missed out on many things, you can either cry for what you missed or enjoy the expectation of enjoying something.
But first you really got to try out getting help, feel free to ask around here as I'm sure the collective experience of the boards covers everything!