suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ts4, Apr 22, 2012.

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  1. ts4

    ts4 New Member

    ive wrote this has i feel i am stuck between a rock and a hard place. i live in sefton, merseyside and anybody with any sort of mental health problem is managed by merseycare. i have been diagnosed has having an emotionally unstable personality disorder. im 35 and have self harmed since i was 13. my main method has been blood letting, but overdoses have occurred as well. merseycare have drawn up a management plan for me stating i can only be admitted if the on call consultant agrees, and i agree to go on a 6 bed ward in stoddard house. me being in group enviroments when in crisis is dangerous to me and possibly to others, as i only calm down when left to do so.

    here's how things have been for me since the 13th april 2012

    1.13th took s diazapam picked up by police taken to hospital offered 6 bed ward in stoddard house as a voluntary patient i declined.
    2.14th took diazapam picked up by police taken to hospital after being medically fitted told to go home by merseycare.
    3.15th took k <edit mod total eclipse method and paracetamol picked up by police and detained under section 136 and taken to hospital offered 6 bed ward in stoddard house as a voluntary patient i declined.
    4.16th took k <edit mod total eclipse method .p refered me to southport hospital as it was out of area to were i live but i was referred back by hospital and after being medically fitted told to go home by merseycare.
    5.17thtook <edit mod total eclipse method> went to arrow park hospital but told to leave as i was a sefton patient.
    6.19th refered by out of hours g.p to whiston hospital as it was out of area and i was feeling suicidal who said i neded to come in voluntary which i agreed to but merseycare refused there request and offered me a 6 bed ward in stoddard house as a voluntary patient i declined
    7.20th brother asked for me to be sectioned police turned up to do welfare check and asked me to go to hospital i went as i was feeling suicidal. merseycare assessed me and told me to go home.
    8.21st 30 minutes after previous discharge i rang merseycare and said i have tried to get help when i feel suicidal and you wont help so i wont ask any more. police were sent to my home were i refused entry and stabbed my self with a stanley knife in the wrist eventually the police negotiator convinced me to go to hospital i did to be offered a 6 bed ward in stoddard house as a voluntary patient i declined.
    9.i feel extremely depressed and have been researching all the ways to kill my self i feel i have reached that stage. were i need to remove myself from this world. i have decidedd to k <edit mod total eclipse method myself as this is the easiest items to obtain. and buyk <edit mod total eclipse method hopefully all 3 will releive me of this pain people call life.

    still have a small hope i dont suceed otherwise i wouldnt have tried to get help numberous times.


    tony
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you take all the help that has been offered to you and use it to help yourself hun to heal i am sorry you are suffering hugs
     
  3. ts4

    ts4 New Member

    thanxs
     
  4. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Take as much help as you can get so you can get through this seems youve had quite a journey and cant have been easy all this time.Takeing the help you will improve will take time and you need to stay safe.
     
  5. ts4

    ts4 New Member

    thanxs
     
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