suididal I guess

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rich123, Dec 8, 2006.

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  1. rich123

    rich123 Member

    Yes. 'fraid so... not a cry for attention. maybe it is. I don't know.. just know I am feeling pretty low at the moment after what has got to be the worst week of my life. In the past week. My life has been destroyed.

    I have lost my home and my family
    I have lost my son who I love very much
    I have lost all of my possessions except my pc (box only remains.. borrowing someone elses monitor, keyboard and mouse) and two sets of clothes.

    My son wont speak to me anymore. I know why and there is f*ck all I can do about it.

    I am staying somehwere where I don't belong and I don't fit in.

    There is no place for me.

    maybe removing myself from the equation is the right thing to do.
  2. rich123

    rich123 Member

    I'm sitting here in a bad way. I don't know which way to turn. The stupid thing is, I wouldn't change my actions that I did to cause these events so it is of my own making.

    I refuse to be anyones lapdog. I am not going to put up with someone I am meant to trust and who is meant to trust me rifling through my possessions with accusations every two minutes about trivial things which should be inconsequential but are blown up out of all proportion because of jealousy. I cannot live like that and I don't want to. I do not want to live under audit because of someone else's insecurities
  3. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    wha happened to your son, and your house???

    My eldest sister died when i was 12, she was killed by flood in the philippines where i used to live . . . o_O
  4. rich123

    rich123 Member

    So I gave up a lot.

    in the past I have given up lots of groups o friends because of this person's insecurities and this time I decided enougth is enougth, And so the bitterness begins. My god.. what sort of twisted bitch did I chose to get hooked up with. I hope they were some good drugs I was taking because the come down is a real low
  5. rich123

    rich123 Member

    my house and my son have to gone to my ex. OMG. I am so sorry. that must be horrible for you. I lost my mum when I was 18 which is the closest I can come to your tragedy
  6. rich123

    rich123 Member

    I decided that I either had to totally compromise who I was and who I wanted to be and keep my home and family or not compromise and prepare for the repercussions. I never dreamed the repercussions were going to be as bad as this.

    She rifled thorugh my emails and found some junk email. she accused me of joining a dating site and chatting up women online because of this junk mail. we rowed. I packed. I went to leave. She slammed the door. I thought she would cool down and see sense. Instead she destroyed everything of mine that was left in the house.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2006
  7. rich123

    rich123 Member

    So there you are... a crisis of my own making. I can't go back. not after she has destroyed all my stuff. My dad spoke to her. I asked him as a neutral party to see if he could pick up my stuff. It was a bit of a shock when he advised me to call a solicitor to see my son and to contact the police regarding my possessions
  8. rich123

    rich123 Member

    what is ?

    I read through it and it sounds like my life. is it a disorder? bugger... not sure I'm making much sense anymore. I'm not sure if it is a disorder tbh but it does sound like me
  9. NavyAirman

    NavyAirman Member

    I found that after I lost a close family member, the only way to coupe with my depression was to work on my employment skills. I'm in the Navy (hence my name) and when I started going over all the aviation materials and started to shine in my repair shop, it made me feel alot better. Try working harder than you usually do at your job, it might help.
  10. rich123

    rich123 Member

    I'm doing a phd... lack of my PC whenever I want to work is a big hinderance. One that cannot be sorted out until feburary. This is an aspect I have already explored. This weekend I had some nice analysis coding which would of been great and taking my mind straight from it for the duration but of course... I am borrowing someone elses monitor, keyboard and mouse and they don't want all the stuff I have to install (plus they want to use there own pc as well) so I'm pretty much stuffed in that respect)

    so this pc occupied by owner (which is fair enough tbh). my pc buggered due to ex. so nothing to do except smoke and watch time I should be coding going down the pan.

    my msn is and I need someone to talk to
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2006
  11. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    Come on, pretty soon you'll find yourself a woman, not a bitch . .

    loool, but the thing is, women respects men who has respect for them as well as respect to themselves . . .^^

    your son wo'nt blame you, if he does well, make sure you're there
    you didn't los him you never had . .
    give it time and always learn to forgive and be civilized . .
  12. rich123

    rich123 Member

    Dunno. I wont be having another woman like it that's for sure

    That's why I was wondering about that pleased personality disorder thing
    She's pretty loathsome in the manipulation front so I wouldn't be so sure. He's 9 at the moment and it's coming up to christmas. maybe in a few years time but right now. That's his mum talking in his ear and his dad is AFK

    bah... civilized lost me all my stuff. I walked away rather than going ape and getting my stuff back. Makes me feel like a mug tbh. But your right of course. civilized is the way I should be.

    great line from one of my favourite books

    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Isaac Asimov, Salvor Hardin in "Foundation"
  13. rich123

    rich123 Member

    I seriously need someone to speak to this evening. msn as above

    be cool if someone could get in touch otherwise nvm.
  14. Acetaminophen

    Acetaminophen Well-Known Member

    Oops didn't see that last post . . .

    anyways as i was trying to say , , ,
    Your wife hates you . . period
    if she pass this hatred to your son, then she is being selfish . .

    The main key is to be ever loving to your child, distance is not a hurdle . .
    it's the way you deal with it, the effort . .
    You can get what u want without walking away . .
    just be sure that u practice your rights as a human . .

    it's not that easy i know, but it's not that hard either . .
    as long as you know your rights, finance will go great .
    as for emotional crises . . well those things are things
    which only you can solve, be strong . . ^^
    your friends can only do so much, when it comes down to it . .
    it's still your decision, your life isn't going down, you're bringing it down . .
    Now relax and try to loosen up a bit and then take one step at a time . .
    one small events lead to major changes . .
    good luck . . MORE POWER!!!
  15. Hey

    Hey Active Member

    Compromise is (of course) part of marriage. It's why I don't want to really be married. I mean sure, there are probably good aspects and I know it's kind of pressured as it's quite the popular trend in society but eew. :tongue:

    I guess this person took compromise and made a huge extreme out of it. Most people aren't like that. Gender is irrelevant for the most part. Don't give up hope!
  16. TLA

    TLA Antiquitie's Friend

    I am here if you need to chat. See my profile. I have similar hurts, my son is only 3. Are you in UK or US ?? Feel free to email or PM, too.

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