Defiantly thinking of suiside a lot latley ,been looking at ways to end it . I’m getting older, and the future just looks bleak , ive Suffered so much with my mental health , breakdowns , serious depression , anxiety. When I think of everything I’ve been threw , I know I should not be here , I should of gone to heaven years ago , feel like it’s becoming a joke now. Sometimes I wonder what ths point , you get old , your career will go, your car will go . I think when You want to die more than you want to live then there is somthing seriously wrong with this f++++++ up world . Most nights before I go to sleep I pray for god to take me home . How bad is that?