I've had 14 months of torment now. The noise is my head is as bad as ever. There is no cure. I need peace. I can't watch TV, read, listen to music, or anything really. All there is is tinnitus. The only way out for me is to try to go peacefully. I won't say how I'm going to do it. I just wish I didn't have to. If I could wake up tomorrow and be the person I was just a bit over a year ago I would be happy as a lark. I was depressed, without a mate, had OCD, and a host of other anxiety disorders. I remember a couple of weeks before this began wondering if I was always going to be as miserable. It seems the answer was no. I was about to be a lot more miserable than I ever was. I'm very sorry for those I will hurt. I can't see another way. My life is nothing but torment. Everyday just like the last. I will die eventually anyway....after many years of suffering. Why not cut to the chase? I am filled with regret. I didn't take care of my health for years. I was depressed. I drank, smoke, and didn't eat right. I don't know for sure if this contributed to the ear condition I have, but it's a safe bet that it did. When my hearing started going out I had just parted with ways with a girl I cared deeply for. I was drinking to dull the pain. That might have been what brought me to the point of no return as far as my ear condition is concerned. I've studied theories of life recurrence. That it might be possible that a person could come back in the exact same circumstance, and have a shot at making different life decisions. I of course don't know that this is true. It is a possibility. There really is nothing left for me in this go-round. I realize that suicide isn't something that should be encouraged, but I'm spent. There is no other way out.