Support from those that are apparently there to help

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Shock, Dec 13, 2011.

  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    Well its been a while since I visited SF. Today I felt the depression well up and so I absently just googles 'depression'. Then I got mad. Just angry. I came across Beyond Blue - the Australian depression initiative funded by the government. I reminded me of all the times I was on the edge - struggling to not commit suicide when all I had was my little peep whole out there to the world - the internet. For me, and I know so, so many people, the internet - sites like SF - have been the only way to get any kind of comfort. Then there are sites like Beyond Blues.

    The issue I take is this: its censored. Its divorced from reality. Its full of primitive advice - "If you are feeling down, go see your doctor!" Yeah, sure. Then theres the my stories section. I though 'Great! Here's somewhere where I can connect with real people who share my illness'. But no. These are only 'good news' stories: 'I had depression, but now I dont. Don't give up!'...Well thats great for you, but how on Earth does that help me? Try posting a 'bad' story on there, something like 'I'm not feeling that great at the moment - can anyone give me some advice to avoid hurting myself?' and see how far that gets you. Well it wont get published for one. Even worse is trying to send an email for advice. 'Hey can you tell me where there are people meeting in some kind of a support group for sufferers of depression?' You'll get pointed to the yellow pages.

    Look, I know I am coming across as negative. I'm just angry that these sites that profess to find you answers are just so filtered and only scrape the surface of the depression issue. Go to far with your questions and your seeking of help and you will be ostracised and feel a lot worse. Ask for help and you will feel as though your are running on a treadmill - putting the work in but getting no where. I just dont like that (in Australia) this site and initiative represent the 'face' of the depression issue - ie that its not serious and everything will be ok if you just see your doctor and ride it out. As the vast majority of people here will tell you, that simply is not true.

    Anyway, now for some good news! I have been moderately successful in my campaign to provide support for those suffering depression, anxiety and bipolar who have been involuntarily hospitalised against their will. These 'patients' are now to be provided with an 'Allied Person' who will side with them and hopefully get them out quicker (actually, this was a legal requirement eariler, just the hospitals did not know about it!!!!). The 'patients' are also given an explanatory document of there legal rights as involuntary patients. Finally, staff were apparently given a lecture on patient respect.

    I know its only a small thing, but I hope I have made a difference to someones life! Next I plan to deliver a load of books to the ward, as there is nothing to read their currently but one single newspaper.

    Haha anyway, rant over!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Shock way to go to help the people that need it the most hun You are making a difference to someones life making it less unbearable. I find helping others is one way to keep this depression at bay as well Nice to have you here reaching out for support
  3. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    speaking as someone who HAS been hospitalized against his will, i wish i'd had someone like you on my side
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    If I remember correctly, you had an awful hospital experience which percipitated this advocacy...way to go, and yes, this can make a big difference in people's are you doing now? it seems that cyber is so limited as a medium but also because without seeing the person IRL many suggestions cannot be made...I think your point reminds me that e-health cannot always replace f2f interactions...again, congrads on your work and hope you are doing better
  5. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    Welcome back to SF, Shock! First, I couldn't agree more with you on other depression forums. Before I found SF, I was literally at the end of my rope. I had been avoiding participating in a pro-life forum, because I simply didn't want to be talked out of it. But one day I woke up and said, I'm going to reach out today, and if I can't find a reason not to, I'm going to end my life tonight. So I did a tiny bit of research, and ended up joining a depression forum that at face value seemed to be a friendly, supportive community. I skimmed the forum rules, and while they did say that they didn't discuss suicide, I took this to mean that they didn't discuss methods or allow people to encourage suicidal behavior. I poured my heart and soul into my first post, admitting things that at the time I couldn't even talk to my therapist about. And I closed by confessing that I was terrified that my only option was to end my life, and asked for compassion and help. I think I spent a couple of hours wording and rewording the details of my dilemma. And when I hit "post", I had a tiny glimmer of hope that this group of people who shared a common affliction would help pull me from the ledge. Well, my post was never even published. I presume it was because I admitted that I was suicidal, but since the moderators couldn't be bothered to even send me a message explaining why they didn't publish it and offer me even the tiniest bit of empathy, I'll never know. But my initial reaction was to take it as a sign from the universe to just give up and just end it all. Thankfully, I found SF instead. I can honestly say that the love, friendship and support of my SF friends saves my life every day. I still can't say that I know I can survive the issues that brought me here, but having this support system, and the privelege of being here to support others, has been critical to my survival so far. I honestly can't see the point in a depression community where you can't even admit that you are having suicidal thoughts. I personally have never met a depressed person who didn't at one time or another struggle with the urge to end their life. And it sort of breaks my heart to think that if one of the loyal members of that forum were to wake up one day feeling desperate, they couldn't ask for the help they need from the friends they relied on yesterday.

    I also want to commend you for the work you are doing on behalf of those hospitalized against their will. You should be so proud of the good work you are doing. I think it goes without saying that you are making an important difference in peoples lives.

    So glad to meet you, and to have you with us once again. I hope that we can help you feel better and get the support you need. Please count me among your many friends here and feel free to message me anytime. Sending hugs and friendship...T :hug:
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2011
  6. maries

    maries Active Member

    i totally agree with you, and i, too, get angry when people try to censor suicide, like when they pretend that it doesn't exist or that it's not a serious thing, but it is. i love the work you're doing, and i hope you help many people! congrats!