Support system or shadows?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Aug 12, 2012.

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  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    I felt that i had a great support system... 2 close friends in Rl i could talk to, one adult, one my age.... a mother who was supposed to listen... a therapist who seemed to be trying to help, and people on here whom i felt i fit in with... now i wonder if all that was only shadows...

    my friend my age seems to want to have nothing to do with me, and the adult one is too busy to notice that im scremaing for help.... my mother is so angry, so hateful to me and it hurts so much, because the short time it when away was so great, and now i can only cry for what i got a taste of, and this is all my therapist focuses on, and it hurts more because its already painful... it so hurts to have it picked apart more. WHY dont you just LEAVE IT ALONE???? and i feel so alone here.... im always saying something wrong, not helping enough, or asking for too much... i feel like a stranger in a place i used to be able to come onto and pop right in... ive lost the friends i had on here... to so manyt hings, and many of them just not wanting any contact with me anymore... and it hurts.... i dont want this pain anymore, i dont want to deal with the pain anymore. i dont know if it was silly of me to feel more secure, or if ive just lost everything i cared about.... all i know is now i feel so alone, so empty, and so suicidal. Im back in the place where i think "why not? you have nothing to lose!" and this time, i dont know if i have anyone that can or will save me from myself...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2012
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It is easy to feel alone when depressed - it is what depression does- causes us to isolate, convinces us that nobody cares, and justifies its own existence in the process. The simple fact is that depression has greater will to survive than the people that have the condition; whenever it feels like it is being pushed aside it finds anew angle to hold onto and cling to until it brings you back to the place it wants you to exist.

    You are not alone here, at all. I have never heard anything but nice things about you here and feel privileged to have gotten to know you a bit on the last few days in chat. You are a welcome and supportive member of both chat and this forum in general. I am sorry if I or anybody else made you feel less than very welcome or failed to adequately show our appreciation for your contributions. Since so many of us share common problems it is easy at times to get caught up in ourselves ans overlook the needs of another no matter how good our intentions.

    Why not? I could list many many many reasons, but they would be my reasons for you rather than your reasons for you. Please use the strength you have developed to reach out to us and people in general and to to try to find your reasons for why not and share them with us?

    Take Care and Be Safe

    Ben
     
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