Supporting person after attempted suicide?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by dogmelissa, Oct 15, 2008.

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  1. dogmelissa

    dogmelissa Guest

    Last weekend my sister-in-law attempted suicide. I won't get into the details, but the only reason I know about this is because mother-in-law was at our house when she got the call about it. The family is extremely secretive and they're all very good at pretending like nothing is wrong with themselves and flat-out refusing to ask for help when they need it. Mother-in-law has picked up smoking again recently and when asked why she said that I have "no idea what's been going on the last few weeks", but she refuses to talk to anyone about anything. Though we had a huge family gathering for Thanksgiving (I'm Canadian) only 2 days after, all the family was told sister-in-law wasn't there because she's "sick". I got in trouble for telling my husband's half-sister who lives out of town what had happened and no one has a good reason why they're mad at me for that or why it has to be a secret.

    Basically my question/concern is, how do I support my sister-in-law and the rest of her family without over-stepping the limits? She is obviously very good at the refusing to ask for help thing, and even when it's being offered, she's still somewhat convinced that she doesn't need it. Is there anything I can do? Or do I just have to stand back and hope that she asks for help rather than trying again?

    Are there any links/information for people in positions like me?

    Thanks in advance,
    Melissa
     
  2. Hey there, there is not much you can do for her just be there when she wants you. She has to want the help for anything to work.

    I have done some research for you and here are some links for you, I have made sure they are for Canada.

    http://www.suicide.org/

    http://www.msss.gouv.qc.ca/sujets/prob_sante/sante_mentale/index.php?accueil_en

    http://depression.about.com/cs/basicfacts/a/howtohelp.htm

    http://www.su.ualberta.ca/services_and_businesses/services/student_distress_centre/suicide

    http://www.iasp.info/pdf/postvention/andriessen_how_to_increase_survivor_support.pdf
     
  3. dogmelissa

    dogmelissa Guest

    Thanks Lou. I think you're probably right, but it just doesn't feel like enough. Her family is so stubborn - she's been trained her whole life that asking for help means admitting you can't do it alone and that means you're weak so it's going to take a phenomenal effort for her to shake that belief after 25 years of it.

    Thanks for the links, I'll check them out! General things, like what to do don't have to be Canada specific; I think much of those things are universally applicable.

    Thanks,
    Melissa
     
  4. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    Here are a couple of links that I use on a more regular basis. They cover a vast array of issues but have information pertaining to suicide. Just because a website says it's for kids or teens, it doesn't mean adults can't use them as well. I hope these help you and your situation. All the best, Peace :)

    www.troubledwith.com
    www.kidshelpphone.com
     
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