So I am supposed have made some huge step in theapy this week because I cried. I cried about my childhood and all the abuse. I cried because it hurt so bad. I cried because it sucked ass and the people who were supposed to be there to protect me weren't, or turned a blind eye. Normally I dissocate any time strong feelings come up, and I didn't. I have no idea what to do with all this pain and sorrow I feel. I have no idea what to do with all the hurt. Besides self harm. I am supposed to get up and go clean some before my inlaws get home from work but I don't want to get out of bed. I just don't know what to do with all this pain and the knowledge that my life sucked and my whole childhood was full of abuse, verbal, physical and sexual almost my whole child hood right into my teens. I normally just push it all back but it is like some kind of wall has been lifted and I can see some of the stuff and some of the details. I don't want to. What is happening to me, Why am I not dissocateing I don't want to deal with this. I don't feel ready. I am so scared and feel so alone.