My brain was supposed to kill me today, even though I didn't want it. so far I have fought it off (but have the feeling it will now ambush me at any point for not doing what it wants), although yesterday my mum did have to physically stop me from ODing. I desperately tried to get help before all this, my GP, therapist, Crisis team, and no one was interested. I'm having an 'every one gets help but me moment' because it's true, they do. Even though who share my GP, Crisis Team, CMHT. I'm just incredibly worthless and all I want to do is feel better. But no one will help me with that. Sorry.