Surrounding yourself with depressed people may make you depressed

Discussion in 'Opinions, Beliefs, & Points of View' started by Mikeintx, Apr 20, 2013.

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  1. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    I have found how important it is to have a healthy and positive support system since I went into remission with my depression. Have any of you noticed a big difference in how being around positive can rub off on you? How about the opposite?
  2. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    For me it doesn't make a difference whether i hang round with people who are depressed or i am with the general population but i know that the general population (my parents, family and friends who haven't got depression) do not knw how it feels to be depressed all the time.
  3. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member


    I notice a huge difference, on all people involved. Depression being, to a degree, contagious explains a lot about social life.

    I believe that "happy" people distance themselves from those who are suffering from depression - not only because they are unsure of what to do/say, but because we bring their mood down. I think that's why so many of us here are suffering from having little to no friends. The positive people in our lives don't want to be around us - distancing themselves so they can say positive, yet abandoning us and leaving us in suffer.

    Yet we do need positive people around us to help perk us up. I don't think it can cure us, but I think it can help lift us up. But it's not just about the positive energy they give out - it's about the fun things we can do with them. It's hard to feel depressed if you are enjoying yourself and the people around you.

    But I think it can have the opposite effect as well. For some people I imagine it's quite difficult to be around such positive people all the time. It can be quite draining, trying to feel something you don't honestly feel, seeing everyone else being happy...that can really bring you down even more.

    But we are empathetic beings - to some degree, our moods do effect others.
  4. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    .... of course your environment affects you. In general atleast, then it depends on the persons awareness, susceptability and personal strengths.
    The worst thing about being around people who "understand" is that god damn "understanding". It can create a moment of "relaxtion" when you should feel tense. Or be fighting, but the understanding goes too far and creates a muck in itself.

    Generally though it's good, if the people you're around are positive, or progressive or trying to understand and move forward. It's bad when there's common understandings and mentalities that encourage isolation, fear and things alike. Some might say that people whom are depressed are more susceptable to "answers" or advice, especially from people who emit strong "knowing" personas.
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    actually it does, in my home with my dad, it was so chaotic that it made me suicidal and depressed for a long time until I couldn't take it anymore and left, I felt better but it was still a big I realize how important it is to have a good environment and good people around you that support your values and decisions....
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It does help me when I am around positive and supportive people as opposed to those who bring me down. But then I end up bringing people down with my depression.
  7. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    Makes sense.

    Just like if you surround yourself with sociopaths you often become one. "Dyssocial sociopaths" are that example. If your friends don't like someone or want to bully someone, you will often not like person either or will join in on the bullying. We all become our surroundings to some degree.
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    yes. I very much agree. I have a friend who is dedicated to finding the worst in everything. She does battle with people and causes all the time. Hugeeeeeee anger. It is a huge challenge to be around her. And I am sure its a horrible challenge for many people to be around me. There is a theory that if we look at who our friends are, we will have a good idea of ourselves. We draw to us people who are like ourselves. I love being around happy people. But I honestly do not feel like I am worthy of being around them. So I stay away for fear of who I am.
  9. Senada

    Senada Well-Known Member

    This. Likewise as much as the mental affects the physical, and vica verca. Good mood is not a bad thing, and you're more likely to have that if you're with positive people.
  10. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    yes. depression is contagious. In a family if a parent is depressed, there is more chance that a child will become depressed. So parents should understand that and try to cure their own depression. In a home there should be love, peace and harmony and not fights and quarrels between parents otherwise children will get depressed.
  11. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    Hmm. My dad has depression and I didn't grow up with him. When I found out he suffers from it I thought maybe mine might be hereditary, but my depression is caused by what the people around me have done, how they have treated me.
  12. mirabelle

    mirabelle New Member

    It is encouraging how friendly the other members are on the forum considering our common circumstances..
  13. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    for me... 1 thing i can't stand, really can't stand, is people who are too positive.

    people who look at your situation- no matter if you're depressed, thinking of suicide, harming.. they always have something good to say

    i won't say positivity is a bad thing- beecause it's not. it's a good thing.

    i just like being around people who have my same sort of issues... makes me feel more at home- and that i can talk more easily

    all this.. being around depressed people makes you more depresssed, not if you help each other get through what ever it is. :)
  14. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    I agree with this. When I was really down I wanted to be around happier people but I could tell that I was a bit of a downer even if unintentional. Now that im not depressed I find myself trying to keep positive people around and understand why people would try to distance themselves from me before. It had nothing to do with me, with who I am, it was the disease I suffered with they found to be too much at times.

    I think this is one of the biggest issues with people dealing with mental illness. Its hard to seperate who you are with the illness. You take peoples reactions to the illness as a negative reaction to who you are. One of the biggest things I noticed when i got better was i was able to seperate me from the symptoms of depression.
  15. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    Absolutely. But this also includes websites and forums...

    I believe forums like this provide great support to people who are suicidal, depressed or going through rough spots, but I do honestly believe over dependence on them is far more bad than good. If you're surrounding yourself in depressed people and topics, I think you're more likely to stay in depression as it's going to be on your mind a lot more. It's fine making and keeping friends/relationships, but I do think there comes a point where it may be best to perhaps leave and stay gone, and just move on with your life.
  16. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    I've always found the opposite. Being around super positive people makes me feel alienated and more depressed because I feel bad I can't be like them. Being around people with depression issues does have its downfalls but I can be myself. And the majority of people I am around are not depressed or they hide it well at least. Like skinnylove911 says, quite a bit of the general population still doesn't understand what it feels like to have chronic chemical depression.
  17. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I can see how this can be true. How about acting like the type of person that you want to be around?
  18. Big M

    Big M Well-Known Member

    Easier said than done but something I strive to do.
  19. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    This is true, but with effort anything is possible. Change happens over time. I am confident that as long as we strive and never give up it will happen.
  20. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    2 out of 3 of the family members that I live with are depressed. I rub it off on them and they rub it off on me. My dad is probably depressed too but hides it better im guessing, how could he possibly be happy around us.
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