I have survived a few attempts. Today I was just released from the hospital. Not real sure surviving was worth it. My girlfriend says she just can't take any more. Who can blame her. I've been completely out of control. I can feel my anxiety building up and still can't maintain control. The doc's finally gave me meds to help but seems to late. I'm alive but may as well be dead. My happiness died with my relationship. Used to think love was enough but love was killing her. Lonelyness will probably kill me. I've got meds now so it probably won't be intentional. Much more drawn out and pain full. What's the point of surviving if you lose everything in the process. Lost my best friend, my job, will lose my car. Probably die on the street somewhere. fitting end. Can I really say I survived or is it just taking my body longer to realize it may as well call it quits? Kind of like surviving an earthquake just to starve to death under the rubble.