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Survived but still wish i didnt.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DonKno, Mar 7, 2018.

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  1. DonKno

    DonKno Member

    By my real parents ive been left and been an orphan,got adopted by a family which my adoptive mother was an alcoholic and did beat me as a child for all my childhood,they got divorced and im living with my adoptive dad which is drinking vodka everyday,and can lose his temper easily since he punched me in the stomach and more.

    Which is why i cant let myself close to them and i may never know my real family since theres no information i can get to find them.

    The treatment from my family,being beat up,emotionally abused with words and wasnt supported by them either. They didnt support me to encourage me i can do things which is why now as an adult i dont have confidence in myself.

    Been suicidal since i was in grade school and cut my arm which now i have to live with scars.
    Attempted many times.

    I even <Mod Edit - Methods> in the past and been unconscious for 3 days and my adoptive parents didnt even called ambulance,they waited to see if id wake up.

    if i didnt wake up the 4th day ,later then they would have called ambulance, why did they even wait for so long?! Geez..

    Its a fucking miracle i survived <Mod Edit - Methods> the while being unconscious for 3 days.
    tbh i wish i didnt,because im still depressed and miserable with life wishing id attempt again.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2018
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I am so sorry to hear of your suffering and pain. How old are you? Maybe you can contact social services and let them decide if the physical abuse is something they can help with?

    I am glad you are here still here and alive and kicking, just being here shows how strong you are and want to keep fighting the fight. You rock :)

    If you ever need someone to talk to (I do work) but im on here daily and will always respond to you.
    Cagla likes this.
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    For what purpose it serves ? @DonKno

    Back to your post it's cold what your adoptive parents did. Hope you are able to figure out how to get the feelings sorted out as it is hard for someone to shoulder alone. 3 days and not even ring an ambulance service? Have you gone to your doctor to see if you have lasting damages with your liver etc?
  4. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    Speechless....it is too hurtful to see how fucked up families hurt children......
    But you survived hopefully, hopefully because you will recover from the pain they caused and spit on their faces to go live your life. I wish I could hug you with my real arms but I can't. So I hope this will do the similar effect =>
    (((HUGGGS )))
  5. DonKno

    DonKno Member

    i never thought about checking to see if my liver was damaged,good idea though,about checking it..
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you got abused so much by your parents. It's not right.
  7. Peacebwu

    Peacebwu Member

    I am sorry you had such an unfair horrible upbringing! It's hard to know the truth about ourselves when it's been pounded in us all the lies of worthlessness. May I be a voice of truth to say I know you have value and worth! I know you were made with a purpose for good. These wrongs done to you will have to be accounted for someday. You are an overcomer! You have not only survived but now can grow to thrive. Perhaps you can help other victims that have been abandoned and abused and left for dead? Perhaps once you are well on your way to recovery you can help suicide victims too? I too tried suicide in the pits of my darkest days. I had become convinced not only my life but the lives of everyone I loved would be better without me. It was truly a lie. I am so grateful I didn't succeed! I have had a hard path to healing but I now live a good life with a loving family. It took a lot of overcoming, perseverance and never give up spirit to do the really painful hard work of learning truth and how to change the lies that played in my head. I especially appreciate the work I did through Dialectical Behavior Therapy and now working with my daughter in trauma therapy with EMDR. You are more than a conquer and have a good life and purpose to live! Please keep fighting the good fight to live and find the truth. It's a great feeling to be freed from all that oppressive junk! It's totally worth it!
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