Ummm i dont know how im still alive but yeah heres the story. on saturday the 15th I was at a mates party getting pissed from 11.30 am till about 1.00 am sunday the 16th. It was a keg party so I drunk a hell of alot, started hitting bourbon mixes by about 8pm, and then tried funelling straight whiskey at around 11 pm. My ex girlfriend of 4 years turned up, we hadnt seen eachother for a year.... We had a bit of a fight I cant remember what was said, got pretty down about it.... I left the party in my car at 1am still highly intoxicated and drove 35 kilometres home, there I picked up a < Mod Edit - Methods > I rolled a cigarette and thats the last i remember of being concious. I remember being pulled through blackness, there was a speck of light in front of me and i was being pulled towards it, then the speck got fainter and fainter and disappeared, suddenly i was being drawn through what i like to call darkness, an eerie feeling of lonliness, sadness, and nothingness spet through me, i knew the darkness was eternal. it felt eternal and it kept growing stronger. Suddenly like a lgiht came on, I was walking towards the car wearing blue jeans and a white shirt, it was daylight, maybe around 7.30 am, I remember seeing the car and the tube, and a thought of panic went through me, I ran towards the car and yelled out "ARE YOU ALRIGHT, ARE YOU ALIVE?" in a voice not my own. Suddenly i heard a ghasp and i was sitting in the car, i turned my head towards the back of the car and a man in blue jeans and a white shirt was looking in, the car was coated in dirt because me and my mates had been thrashing it in the paddock. I quickly opened the door and got out of the car, I found it hard to stay on my feet.... the first thing i noticed was the car wasnt running, i crept back over to the car ignoring the 3 other people that were around me, the keys to the ignition were turned off..... I started the car up in hope of freeing it from the bog but it was stuck, when the guys walked away to ring the police I quickly pulled the tube off the exhaust and threw it into the bush, there i went over to the guys, they were driving a white subaru legacy, the guy that woke me up asked me where i lived, i told him and asked if he had called the cops, he said yes and an ambulance was on its way, he drove back to my house to pick up my mum. I sat by the car and rolled a smoke waiting for everyone to come back wondering why i was still alive........ i told the police, ambulance workers, nurses, doctors and the pshyciatrists the same thing, this is the first time ive ever tried to take my own life, and after that experience i dont think it will ever happen again. I need to earn my place in heaven, thats what i got from this, i have been a metalhead "satanist" if you want to call it that since i was 13, never been to church and never believed in god, heaven, jesus or anything...... but what that told me was, "this wasnt your time, but..... you need to make your time on earth count for something" which i now intend to do.... cuz fuck man what a fuckwit for doing that shit, and..... it scared me to life ahahahaha. I still cant work out how the ignition got turned to the off position but im glad, my blood CO level was very high when i got to the hospital as was my blood alcohol level. Both at highly dangerous levels apparently, they put me on oxygen for a day and a half and a water/salt drip. My nuro tests came back fine and there was no sign of heart problems or brain injury..... I really cant believe i did it, and walked away from it practicly unharmed..... neither can my doctors....... all i can say guys, death aint worth that feelin mate straight.