survived suicide

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by lostallhope71, Aug 26, 2014.

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  1. lostallhope71

    lostallhope71 New Member

    So nine months ago I tried to kill myself after I broke up with my long term girlfriend. <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. I blacked out and awoke several minutes later. The attempt appears to have caused a degree of brain damage and made things worse. My memory is shot to pieces, I struggle to converse, and where before I was a gentle and caring man I am now short tempered and suffer with unwanted violent thoughts that verge on obsessional. I have tried for nine months to fight off these thoughts and rebuild a life, including 2 hospital admissions when suicidal thinking overtook me again. The suicidal thoughts have once again taken over the last three weeks. I am struggling to find hope and fight the barrage of negative thoughts. I will never be the person I was again and can't face a life troubled with disturbed thoughts. Several times in the last week I have begun to attempt again only to back out, not out of fear it would work, but that it would fail again and leave me with even more brain damage...
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think one of the hardest parts of accepting mental illness is accepting the fact that you will never be the person you once were. I don't mean that in a nasty way, but mental illness does change you and can change your personality. But it's how you deal with it that counts. You can choose to dwell on it, or you can take a look at who you are now, accept it and begin to move forward. Look at what you need to change and start making progress towards changing those things and start to love yourself for who you are now.
     
  3. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Thank you for you willingness and courage in sharing your story. Hopefully, it will discourage others from attempting. It can cause so much damage and make life even more difficult.

    I wish you the best in your recovery. I hope you will give it plenty of time and learn to control your thoughts, and become comfortable with the new you.
     
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    don't worry, these will go away with time and you will be the man you were before. but it may take a while.
     
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