Dont know if this is the right place to put this. My dad is violent he used to beat up my mum when she was alive and then he turned his anger on my sister. Ive never actually been hit by my father but theIts way he has treated my family makes me dispise him. My siblings find it hard to relate to me because I was the so called special child. I was more of a pawn than anything else. I moved out when I was 18 and havent looked back even though I never suffered physical abuse directly I have what my therapist says is like survivors guilt. And I am depressed as well. It sucks because I feel bad when I try to explain to my siblings how I feel because I was never actually attacked. But the first image I have of my dad is seeing him beat up my mom when I was about 5 she was silent it was in the middletha of the night and I still have the image in my mind of him just hitting her . Then a few years ago I got sexually assaulted by a relative and Ive found it difficult to deal with but its twisted sometimes I feel like Im paying for something I just dont know what............I know I shouldnt feel like this but I do