Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by silverflash, Aug 24, 2006.

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  1. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Today I counted out my tablets and found that I had more than enough to kill myself. Good.
    Life is shit.
    On Monday I was told that somebody would help me to feel better and today I was told to sort myself out by myself. I can't do it.
    I'm so tired of life. I want to go to bed, swallow the tablets and DIE!!!
    I hate myself so much and so does everybody else. What is there to like about me??? What? What? What?
    I'll tell you NOTHING!!!
    I'm all alone in this horrible world and I hate it.
    I have nobody to care about me.
    Please let me die.
    Please ... please.
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi there

    I'm really sorry that you're feeling so crap and going through such a rough time of it at the moment. Who told you that you would receive help to feel better? Maybe you could approach them, or your doctor or a counsellor and ask for the help and support that you need?

    It really does sound like you're going through one hell of a time.. is there anything else, other than taking tablets, that might help you right now? Is there a helpline where you live that you could call? It might help you feel less lonely.. and of course, please remember that we're here if you wanna lean on us too.

    I know it probably won't help alleviate your stress, but I think a lot of people suffering from depression feel like no one cares about them or that there is nothing about them worth caring about. I know i can relate to those feelings a lot myself.. but i am trying to tell myself that it isn't true. This forum has really helped in that respect.. it's good to have a place where people can relate and lean on eachother for that support.

    Please stick around and don't take the tablets. Give yourself a chance to find the help and support you need right now.. i guess you have nothing to lose by trying? And please give the forum a chance.. if anything we can help you feel less alone.

    :hug: xx
  3. silverflash

    silverflash Well-Known Member

    Hi Jenny
    Thanks for your thoughts. I have tried and tried and tried to get professional help- and everybody says that I am too traumatised (as a result of rape) for them to be able to help me. This includes doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and alternative therapists. Where else can I turn other than to the tablets? I just want to die. NOBODY is willing to help me and life is so shit. I spend every day crying. The pain is so bad. I have lost so many friends as they can't cope with the pain. All I want is for one person in the whole world to say I can help you. Why is it so hard to find that person? I feel that my life is over.

    Death might be awful, but it can't be as bad as life.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Silver...I am a survivor myself...i was raped and tortured by my father for 12 years, and the climb back to humanity is real tough...this i know...but it is worth it to get back what was taken from you...please PM me if you want to explore resources together...because of my work, I am quite good at finding providers for ppl...please be safe as you deserve a good life...this was NOT your fault and you should not have to suffer anymore for something that was done to you (much easier said than done; i know that first hand)...big hugs, Jackie
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