Take my advice.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by mei, May 5, 2016.

  1. mei

    mei Active Member

    This is weird, it's been a couple of weeks since I've felt this way. It's kind of hard to breathe and I even feel like I'm being choked in my own room. I really thought that I was getting past this because I can push it back down my throat again like how I did when I was in elementary.
    And I want to pick up my phone and talk to someone, anyone, but I can't 'cause I've tried that and I just looked pathetic and pretentious.
    No one really cares in the end. People will listen and pat your back but only because they want to be good people. Or maybe they really do want to help, but only in that moment. Before long they'll get sick of patting your back. And after you realise your own stupidity and desperation, you'll just sink lower, and you were already low enough as it is.

    I've tried so many times and sometime after my nth I just gave up. I am still tempted at times but my experience and intuition (or prediction whatever it is called) wins every debate now.

    Take my advice and don't talk to anyone about these kind of things, your problems, feelings and all that other depressing stuff. Just put it somewhere deep inside. Swallow it all down your throat and keep it where the sun don't shine. I may be wrong, this may not be something I should be advising people but this is what experience had taught me.

    Use this site if all the things bottled up inside you overflows. Here you can pretend like you're actually talking to someone. And people who understand may reply and strike up a conversation. And that's good. But remember to never depend on the ears and shoulders of other people. Don't dig your own grave, but if you do you might as well plan when you're going to cry about it later.

    Sorry for ranting.
     
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    I'm not sure it's the right thing to do but I do that too. I never talk about my problems to people around me. I try to be fun to be around and in that way it works, I have lots of friends.


    My problems don't go away tho...
     
  3. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Bottling up doesn't work either, though. It will keep piling up until you explode or implode, neither of which are healthy.

    A good therapist or counselor can help ease things in the long run... but it takes some work to find someone you sync with.
     
    mei likes this.
  4. mei

    mei Active Member

    Same here. I have many friends but it doesn't seem right to talk to them. And i'm pretty sure they won't take me seriously.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My problem is I talk too much about my issues that it brings my sisters and niece into a bad mood. But I would never ever advise bottling everything up, trust me when I say that is not good advice. Maybe it does help short term but long term? Not a chance. Your feelings and thoughts need to be heard. Bottling everything up can bring upon huge issues. Please stay and talk to us because we do care otherwise we wouldn't have replied.
     
    mei, Thauoy and MisterBGone like this.
  6. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I agree that bottling things up is not good. It is likely to lead to huge explosion. Keep trying to find someone to talk to. A counsellor, a psychologist, a minister. One of the people I am most comfortable talking to is someone I hardly know. And probably won't see much of. Its great if they will listen, but you don't have to be concerned about it effecting a long term relationship.
     
    mei likes this.
  7. Thauoy

    Thauoy Well-Known Member

    [QUOTE="

    Take my advice and don't talk to anyone about these kind of things, your problems, feelings and all that other depressing stuff. Just put it somewhere deep inside. Swallow it all down your throat.[/QUOTE]
    Hi Mei, I really do feel the same as you do. I really appreciate your advice. Most people in this world are selfish, unsympathetic, unkind and discompassionate.
    I have learned this through my own experience. But people on this forum are those who understand pain and suffering. Everyone on SF are kind and compassionate.
    So, please share your problems and feelings here on SF. I and everyone on SF would really appreciate. Everyone on SF have some sort of problems or difficulty in their life.
    While it may not be exactly like yours , it may be just as hard. Lets help each other.

    A big thanks for sharing your feelings and problems. Best Wishes.
     
    mei likes this.
  8. mei

    mei Active Member

    Thank you for all the replies It's just been a frustrating time. I do love that even though I dont have any real problems that you guys still console me. It really does mean a lot
     
  9. Asdlax

    Asdlax INFJ 1w2

    You're right. Strangers can't possibly DEEPLY care for you. It's common sense. That's good you have that.

    But we all start from strangers. Happily married couple were once strangers too!! Don't forget that. Any kind of relationship has to start somewhere. You have to be patient. You can't plant an appleseed and expect to harvest apples on the same day. It takes time for a bond to develop. Fertilise it, take care of it, through summer, spring, autumn and winter then all over again. Through the storms and obstacles you two survive, the relationship becomes stronger. Be patient.

    When my best friend and I first met.. he only helped me because he was BORED. He said it. But now, he can proudly say that I am the most important person in his life! I was so happy to tears.

    And from my point of view, he was once a kind stranger, then my emotional confidant, then a true friend, and before I know it, I fell in love with him. It's unrequited and our friendship begins to hurt me. But my romance life aside, point being; FEELINGS DEVELOP. IT GROWS. Give it time.

    If you are meant to be, it will only become stronger, if not you will have to walk separate ways. And that's ok.

    Keep trying and you'll get there someday. You'll eventually find a lifelong companion. Stay determined, and Believe!
     
  10. Inanimate

    Inanimate Well-Known Member

    I don't think that bottling things up until you're overwhelmed and desperate is the safest and most healthy of options. If anything, I just wouldn't over-rely on people. I think people grow tired of patting backs when they're frequently being depended on; it can easily become monotonous and burdening, especially when they're already preoccupied by their own problems. You would need to rely chiefly on yourself to ground yourself and cope. Consolation and advice and a listening ear from friends, family, etc, should be secondary but not out of the question. No one needs to be that lonely.
     
  11. NancyJones

    NancyJones New Member

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  12. ApexAsura

    ApexAsura Active Member

    I have also come to the conclusion of keeping to myself to contain the darkness within and not spread it. But i dont bury it, i fight it daily i struggle with it trying to defeat it, its a constant battle that goes up and down but im a fighter and will fight it to the end. It has helped refine me into the person i am today, i improve daily and learn a lot about myself dealing with it. Its a double edged sword breaking you down over and over as you keep picking yourself up and challenge it again. Of course support is always nice, it doesnt have to be in the form of them giving you all the answers, just give you a break from your problems having some fun, distracting you or even increasing the overall positive feelings you have to help in your fight against the darkness inside you.
     
  13. NinaZ

    NinaZ Active Member



    Agreed 100%.

    I am also thankful for this website. I can't afford insurance therefore virtually no way of approaching a good, solid mental health practitioner, and coming here to rant/vent might have been the second best thing - but it saved me, because people here are not trying to be kind, they truly understand because they are experiencing similar things.
     
    Thauoy likes this.