This is weird, it's been a couple of weeks since I've felt this way. It's kind of hard to breathe and I even feel like I'm being choked in my own room. I really thought that I was getting past this because I can push it back down my throat again like how I did when I was in elementary. And I want to pick up my phone and talk to someone, anyone, but I can't 'cause I've tried that and I just looked pathetic and pretentious. No one really cares in the end. People will listen and pat your back but only because they want to be good people. Or maybe they really do want to help, but only in that moment. Before long they'll get sick of patting your back. And after you realise your own stupidity and desperation, you'll just sink lower, and you were already low enough as it is. I've tried so many times and sometime after my nth I just gave up. I am still tempted at times but my experience and intuition (or prediction whatever it is called) wins every debate now. Take my advice and don't talk to anyone about these kind of things, your problems, feelings and all that other depressing stuff. Just put it somewhere deep inside. Swallow it all down your throat and keep it where the sun don't shine. I may be wrong, this may not be something I should be advising people but this is what experience had taught me. Use this site if all the things bottled up inside you overflows. Here you can pretend like you're actually talking to someone. And people who understand may reply and strike up a conversation. And that's good. But remember to never depend on the ears and shoulders of other people. Don't dig your own grave, but if you do you might as well plan when you're going to cry about it later. Sorry for ranting.