Take that...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~PinkElephants~, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    :mad:im fuckin done with it. fuckin' sick of it all. how loud do i need to fuckin' scream to be heard? how fuckin much do i need to beg to actually be seen? Do I need to cut a little more? cry a little more? scream a little more? drink a little more? WHAT!!!!!!! Tell me what the fuck do i need to do to make you realize I'm NOT OKAY. I haven't been for weeks now. Downward fuckin' spiral right!!! Well close your fuckin' eyes to it, turn your head, ignore it, walk on by, and just keep going. I don't fuckin' care anymore.

    I am tired of pretending what I say and when I say it actually matters. Truthfully I know it doesn't. I know nothing I say to you or you matters. Do this? Help me! Do that?! Help me?! TAKE TAKE TAKE TAKE. Fuckin' greedy fuckers. JUST FUCKIN' TAKE IT. You think I'm a little upset..nah just turn your head to it you won't fuckin notice.

    If I cut a little too deep would you even see the scars!! I hide them oh so well. In places you'd never see, places you'd never know. So keep on looking at me, ill paste the smile on..keep on fuckin' looking and one day maybe just maybe you'll see the cracked and bruised soul I have. And then...that's the day I will turn around and slit my wrists for you...so that way you can watch me bleed the hurt out.

    Do not give me hugs..they will not solve it...give me words...give me something other than the awws :hug: I'm sorry...something to grasp onto.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2007
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    can't vent at all. cant say what's on my mind. cant do anything without it being a problem. you say i can well lets be real. everytime i try and reach i get shoved back down.
    SO FUCKIN SHOVE ME UNDER AND HOLD ME THERE. DROWN THE GHOSTS OF MY PAST FOREVER AND KILL ME IN THE PROCESS.
     
  3. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :sad: No. You need and deserve to express yourself just like anyone else. :hug:

    I feel like this too, occasionally.

    Sometimes you have to do for you, though. They can take-take-take all they want, but when you have nothing left to give, then you've just gotta fuck 'em all and look at yourself for a bit.

    Please hang in there. You really need a break.... :dry: Try and get some rest or something. Find some time to take a warm bath, write a few poems, listen to some music. Don't worry yourself with everything else right now. You can't fix anything else if you're not well yourself anyway.

    You tend to treat others well.

    So why can't you treat yourself, someone who's frequently far more compassionate than those others, a hell of a lot worse? Stop letting them latch onto you, and then, exhausted and worn, dragging them to where they want to be.

    You can't help them if you're not strong enough for yourself.

    Take a break from catering to everyone (besides Dylan, of course) because you simply cannot do it anymore. They're draining you, and unless you allow yourself substantial amounts of time to recharge, you will have been all drained out.

    I know sometimes you probably don't care about yourself, but I believe you care about many others. You can't be there for them if you let them chip at your exterior until it's gone, and then start working on your interior too.

    You're precious. Don't let these people who have done nothing short of tax you tell you differently. Don't live for them. Don't die for them. Don't give them the victory. Because you're precious. You're precious and you're strong. You're strong, Kells. You don't have to feel strong right now. That's okay if you don't. But you are strong. You've handled a lot. I wish I knew what to say to convince you of it.

    When people rob you of everything you are, you break. That's what happens. We're all only human. But we can be regenerated.

    Parts of you will reunite until you're whole again. However, the only way that can happen is if you give yourself some space... give yourself some consideration.

    You deserve it. You really do.
     
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    thank you so so so much rae. you have no idea how much those words mean to me. Honestly it meant alot to me and i hope you realize also how precious you are. Love u loads.

    Off to drink. :hug:
     
  5. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

  6. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    Don't let anyone ever make you think that you're not worth it.. you deserve just as much as anyone else, and you are worth it. People are selfish.. even on here, I'm learning. (especially on here.... =x) :unsure::dry::sad:

    I so wish I had the right thing to say.. I feel as though I say this to everyone, and I probably do, but if I knew the right thing to say I wouldn't be here myself. All I really can say is that you are important, and if people are too selfish to take time to listen, it's their loss, and it will come back to hurt them.

    The people who will listen are the ones who matter, so take advantage of all the people who will listen and support you. I may give terrible advice, but I am here for you if you ever need, and I do care. :hug: :sad: :hug: <3
     
  7. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Kellz, I'm sorry I don't have words for you..But I'm here if you ever want to talk. <3
     
  8. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

    :mad::mad::sad::sad:
     
  9. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :eek:hmy: :sad: :hug: what happened?
     
  10. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    :hug: Kewwy. :sad:
     
  11. missdiana86

    missdiana86 Active Member

    :unsure:be strong...yeah, it's easy to cut and to die..eventuallly..but it's not a way out, it's showing u r weak..too weak to face ur 'ghosts' and kick their butt..just do it! kick ur 'ghoasts'' butt!:blink: