There's not much left for me in this world. The things that get me through the day seem pointless and I can't find good reasons to hang on because of them. Hope's best intentions can only bring the slightest relief. So tomorrow will be the first step in a long preparation. I don't want to screw it up like so many other things in my life. Going to take a long trip to see my brother, perhaps for the last time. Ironically, I'm concerned that the bad weather might make the trip hazardous. After the trip, I'll start getting all my affairs in order.