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Empathy Only Taking a break

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#21
I'm sorry, that is an awful lot at once. I think it IS like an active grieving process, and you have to just try to let yourself go through it.

Last year my therapist changed locations and I thought he might have to drop me as a client, I remember the panic I felt. I can imagine what you must be going through.

Do you think she would do a phone session with you? If not going forward, at least once or twice to tie up some loose ends?

I don't think it's true that there is no help for you. I get it feels super raw right now. Just try to hold on. *hug
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#22
I'm sorry, that is an awful lot at once. I think it IS like an active grieving process, and you have to just try to let yourself go through it.

Last year my therapist changed locations and I thought he might have to drop me as a client, I remember the panic I felt. I can imagine what you must be going through.

Do you think she would do a phone session with you? If not going forward, at least once or twice to tie up some loose ends?

I don't think it's true that there is no help for you. I get it feels super raw right now. Just try to hold on. *hug
She called and we talked ( or I cried) for about 15 minutes. She spoke to several colleagues two of whom are familiar with me ( one I've met) and 10 people suggested a specific person. She is sending me a release so she can legally speak to the other therapist and she asked what I was comfortable with her sharing. She knows me well obviously and will try to feel it out. If she thinks we might be a good match the new therapist will reach out to me. I will go back to see my person one more time ( at least but probably just once). There is a grassy area outside of her office which is fairly private. She's calling this a warm transfer and is always open to having me coming back should things change ( ie her office and hours). She's on my side and I've never found a therapist with so much conviction. She said she noticed my demeanor change in the new environment. My birthday happened less than two weeks before she relocated. And I only knew she was changing a week prior to that. She didn't want to leave the first place but they wouldn't let her stay if she was working somewhere else. I had even thought of having her come to my house every other week for an hour and I'd pay two hours because of driving time. It's about 30 minutes each way when traffic is good but that doesn't alleviate the other obstacles and it's not enough time for my needs. That wasn't something I asked for, I was just trying to think of solutions.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#23
I just talked to a new therapist on the phone. We're supposed to meet in 3 weeks. I already have zero confidence in her and want to cancel.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

Back into the wild where I belong. Out of your way
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#24
I just talked to a new therapist on the phone. We're supposed to meet in 3 weeks. I already have zero confidence in her and want to cancel.
Hugs. Its scary with new Therapists. The unknown.


No advice is given from me in this section however I feel for you. When im working for this company for over a decade and newcomers are being hired for more money and my raises are not increased to that same level. SMH it just infuriates me. Dont know if I just need to walk away myself and start fresh.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#25
Hugs. Its scary with new Therapists. The unknown.


No advice is given from me in this section however I feel for you. When im working for this company for over a decade and newcomers are being hired for more money and my raises are not increased to that same level. SMH it just infuriates me. Dont know if I just need to walk away myself and start fresh.
My quality/productivity is in the top 10 percent of my department and I still don't feel good enough.

Last night I thought if I had been an HR rep doing a phone interview with the prospective new therapist, I wouldn't have asked for an in person interview. I'm doing this on recommendation only.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#27
I just cancelled my appointment with the new therapist I was to see. Red flags everywhere. She didn't listen to a damn thing I said when we talked on the phone. If it wasn't for me, I don't think she would even know we had an appointment. I've had that happen where therapists forget about me. I've put myself through enough stress and didn't even meet her.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#28
I just cancelled my appointment with the new therapist I was to see. Red flags everywhere. She didn't listen to a damn thing I said when we talked on the phone. If it wasn't for me, I don't think she would even know we had an appointment. I've had that happen where therapists forget about me. I've put myself through enough stress and didn't even meet her.
Sounds like a bullet dodged. Definitely not worth the hassle if it's a bad feeling from the start.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#29
Sounds like a bullet dodged. Definitely not worth the hassle if it's a bad feeling from the start.
I just can't even...I mean, considering this is life and death ( not to be overly dramatic but i am on a suicide forum for God's sake) and she can't remember a single detail. I was very explicit saying I need 90 minute sessions. She said she would talk to the office and if she couldn't do 90 minutes she would let me know right away and she would also send paperwork. I told her I was ok with 60 minutes for the initial consult but would need 90 minutes after that. She never sent the paperwork so *I* emailed her to remind her and make sure we had an appointment and asked if it would be 60 or 90 minutes. She emailed me some portal for info, asked if I was going to come in and then said depending on my insurance ( I already told her) it would be 45 or 50 minutes. Cancelled.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#30
I talked to my therapist about the person she referred me to. She was dumbfounded at how unprofessional she was. She referred me to her based in feedback from colleagues. She said she is only going to make referrals for people she already knows because I've been through too much. She has 3 in mind and ranked them in order as to how she sees me fitting in with them. I know who two of them are as they are at her old practice but they ranked two and three. They are older than me and her first choice is two years younger. I hate starting over. And I have so many more challenges than I did just a year ago. I've taken the next 4 days off work. I'm exhausted.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#31
I talked to my therapist about the person she referred me to. She was dumbfounded at how unprofessional she was. She referred me to her based in feedback from colleagues. She said she is only going to make referrals for people she already knows because I've been through too much. She has 3 in mind and ranked them in order as to how she sees me fitting in with them. I know who two of them are as they are at her old practice but they ranked two and three. They are older than me and her first choice is two years younger. I hate starting over. And I have so many more challenges than I did just a year ago. I've taken the next 4 days off work. I'm exhausted.
*hug I'm glad your therapist is being helpful in this. I get how daunting it is to start over. Try not to think of it all at once, just one step at a time.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#32
*hug I'm glad your therapist is being helpful in this. I get how daunting it is to start over. Try not to think of it all at once, just one step at a time.
She's very kind and professional. She has my best interests at heart, which bizarrely isn't always the case. I'm going to call someone she recommended later today. It is someone she personally knows which helps but it is still scary to start over. I really wanted (and expected) her to be my final stop. I need to make a list of questions before I call.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#36
I get scared mentioning suicidal ideation because I want to be able to express my pain and how it makes me want to die without someone coming after me.
Yeah, I get that. I think therapists are required in an initial appointment to talk about the situations where they would be obligated to report someone. Usually the spiel is like, if there is child or elder abuse or you have a plan to hurt yourself or someone else. So I'd just clarify there when that happens (or on your own if it doesn't, but it should come up). I don't think any therapist WANTS to put someone in a hospital, ya know? They just want to make sure clients are safe. So if you say you sometimes have ideation, and want to be able to talk about that, but that you're safe, I think that's probably pretty common.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#37
Yeah, I get that. I think therapists are required in an initial appointment to talk about the situations where they would be obligated to report someone. Usually the spiel is like, if there is child or elder abuse or you have a plan to hurt yourself or someone else. So I'd just clarify there when that happens (or on your own if it doesn't, but it should come up). I don't think any therapist WANTS to put someone in a hospital, ya know? They just want to make sure clients are safe. So if you say you sometimes have ideation, and want to be able to talk about that, but that you're safe, I think that's probably pretty common.
I spoke to her about it but it still makes me nervous. My current therapist (who knows her well) has never wanted to commit me. She knows that it happened and now I have PTSD. I'm not a threat to anyone. I've only ever daydreamed about hurting one person because I felt so betrayed. I removed myself from the situation just to calm myself down. My current therapist has recommended medication but I got frustrated because I'm treatment resistant. And the suicide hotline is worthless. ( For me at least.)
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#38
You'll just have to feel her out a bit to see if you can grow to trust her. I think most therapists would rather not commit someone, so try not to worry too much. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with a hospital :(
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#40
I just talked to my current therapist. I see the new one Thursday to see if it's a fit. Our conversation was about what information she can share as part of the referral process. I started shaking so badly I had to get off the phone . I'm so scared.
 

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