I'm sorry you're struggling
@Leesa. Is email the only way of getting a hold of your therapist? I know if I were to leave a voicemail for mine on his office phone he would get a notification. Or maybe one of them has someone as a backup for emergencies?
You are NOT selfish. I think you do know that, but in case you needed it repeated. It's unfortunate that people just don't understand what it's like, want to make it about them.
I hope you can figure out a way to talk to someone, or to keep distracted to keep yourself safe. Keep talking if you think it might help. We're here to listen at least.