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Empathy Only Taking a break

sinking_ship

woman overboard
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SF Supporter
#41
I just talked to my current therapist. I see the new one Thursday to see if it's a fit. Our conversation was about what information she can share as part of the referral process. I started shaking so badly I had to get off the phone . I'm so scared.
*hug
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#42
I went. Glad it's over. I'm not convinced there is help as history tells me there isn't. I'm not sure she realizes the depth of my pain and she inadvertently let my trigger word slip. The other one never did that and it does have me concerned. She wants to help. I don't know if she knows how. They're going to talk to each other. She was nice and I'll go again next week but right now I feel somewhat apathetic.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#43
I went. Glad it's over. I'm not convinced there is help as history tells me there isn't. I'm not sure she realizes the depth of my pain and she inadvertently let my trigger word slip. The other one never did that and it does have me concerned. She wants to help. I don't know if she knows how. They're going to talk to each other. She was nice and I'll go again next week but right now I feel somewhat apathetic.
*hug Give it a few days and let it sink in before you make any decisions. It sometimes takes some time to trust a new therapist though.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#44
*hug Give it a few days and let it sink in before you make any decisions. It sometimes takes some time to trust a new therapist though.
I know. I lost sleep over it last night. She is nice and wants to help but if that's all it took, I would have moved on with my life by now. We haven't made an agreement beyond meeting next week. She also has to determine for herself if she can be successful at helping me.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#45
She emailed me today to apologize for slipping. I was her only appointment yesterday and she said she was glad because I had her mind spinning in a million directions because she wants to help but doesn't know how. She also lost some sleep last night. (She wasn't complaining. I had emailed her first with an article and told her I didn't sleep well.).

She is going to collaborate with the other therapist to see if they can figure out if this will be a transition that can be successful.

I also sent her a research project that was done for people with my issues. It's long. She will be off for two weeks in October ( kids are out of school) and she said she will dedicate some time to read it and figure out if and how she can help.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#46
She emailed me today to apologize for slipping. I was her only appointment yesterday and she said she was glad because I had her mind spinning in a million directions because she wants to help but doesn't know how. She also lost some sleep last night. (She wasn't complaining. I had emailed her first with an article and told her I didn't sleep well.).

She is going to collaborate with the other therapist to see if they can figure out if this will be a transition that can be successful.

I also sent her a research project that was done for people with my issues. It's long. She will be off for two weeks in October ( kids are out of school) and she said she will dedicate some time to read it and figure out if and how she can help.
It sounds like at the very least she cares a lot and *wants* to help. I hope it works out.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#48
The new one is on vacation. We haven't decided for sure if she's going to take over. I'm in the middle of a crisis and emailed the other one but her email address is no longer valid. ( This is because of the transition from practices.) I feel abandoned even though it's irrational.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#49
The new one is on vacation. We haven't decided for sure if she's going to take over. I'm in the middle of a crisis and emailed the other one but her email address is no longer valid. ( This is because of the transition from practices.) I feel abandoned even though it's irrational.
*hug @Leesa I get it. I hope things have calmed down a bit for you since you posted.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#50
*hug @Leesa I get it. I hope things have calmed down a bit for you since you posted.
No. I broke down at work. I rarely cry at work. Only when there has been a death or when helping someone who is going through a hard time. Today was the most I've ever cried at work. There weren't a lot of people there since it was a Saturday. Only one person noticed. My sister in law sent me a text while I was there and it sent me spiraling. I've tried connecting with one of the therapists but they're off since it's the weekend. I can't see the one anyway. It's so hard when people don't understand suicidal ideation and they think you're selfish.
 

SleepyOwl

The sleepiest of Owls
SF Supporter
#51
I echo what's already been said about therapy making you feel worse at the time (and after) as you're opening up about difficult situations in your life. I really wish there was a service for aftercare during therapy, as often it can unearth some very difficult times in your life, then you're left to deal with those as best as possible until your next meeting.

I know your therapist has said, you have to find the answers within, but to me that sounds a bit of a cop out of her job to give you the skills to be able to cope... perhaps if you continue therapy, you could express how much you're struggling afterwards and see if she can recommend how you get through those times?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#52
I echo what's already been said about therapy making you feel worse at the time (and after) as you're opening up about difficult situations in your life. I really wish there was a service for aftercare during therapy, as often it can unearth some very difficult times in your life, then you're left to deal with those as best as possible until your next meeting.

I know your therapist has said, you have to find the answers within, but to me that sounds a bit of a cop out of her job to give you the skills to be able to cope... perhaps if you continue therapy, you could express how much you're struggling afterwards and see if she can recommend how you get through those times?
I am having to change therapists. She referred me to someone she knows and I'm having to start over. It sucks. I've only seen her twice. We don't know yet if she can help. She's been on vacation and she's trying to figure out something. I know she wants to help but I need someone who can help. Wanting to is not enough. The only thing I have in my 'safety plan' is to go to bed . Last night I tossed and turned thinking about ways and what might be a good day to try to die Right now I feel like I'm drowning. I texted with a suicide hotline last night. Wasn't great. I mean, I know they pretty much say the same thing to everyone. I need a professional. I need one now.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#53
I'm sorry you're struggling @Leesa. Is email the only way of getting a hold of your therapist? I know if I were to leave a voicemail for mine on his office phone he would get a notification. Or maybe one of them has someone as a backup for emergencies?

You are NOT selfish. I think you do know that, but in case you needed it repeated. It's unfortunate that people just don't understand what it's like, want to make it about them.

I hope you can figure out a way to talk to someone, or to keep distracted to keep yourself safe. Keep talking if you think it might help. We're here to listen at least. *console
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#54
I'm sorry you're struggling @Leesa. Is email the only way of getting a hold of your therapist? I know if I were to leave a voicemail for mine on his office phone he would get a notification. Or maybe one of them has someone as a backup for emergencies?

You are NOT selfish. I think you do know that, but in case you needed it repeated. It's unfortunate that people just don't understand what it's like, want to make it about them.

I hope you can figure out a way to talk to someone, or to keep distracted to keep yourself safe. Keep talking if you think it might help. We're here to listen at least. *console
I don't know that I'm not selfish. I do know I'm misunderstood and not heard. The only after hours line they provide is a crisis line which is worthless. They transferred me to a volunteer who was a recovering drug addict. Just in speaking with her, it was obvious she wasn't educated. I felt judgmental and ended the call. I couldn't even get the conversation started. I've slept and I've cried. I woke up with a migraine so I missed work. This means I lose a day of pay which causes more anxiety. It was a really bad migraine. It was all I could do to call in.

I just want to know what it is like to feel well physically, financially and emotionally. I hate that I've spent so much time on this forum.

I DO appreciate your words of encouragement.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#55
Well, I'll repeat it then. You're NOT selfish. *hug

Ugh, migraines are awful, that's bad timing. I hope you managed to get some rest at least.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#56
Well, I'll repeat it then. You're NOT selfish. *hug

Ugh, migraines are awful, that's bad timing. I hope you managed to get some rest at least.
I get them often. I need it to be tomorrow so MAYBE someone will reach out to me. I have truly been in crisis mode since Thursday and there just isn't anywhere to turn but here

I've been looking at sites we're not permitted to discuss.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#57
I get them often. I need it to be tomorrow so MAYBE someone will reach out to me. I have truly been in crisis mode since Thursday and there just isn't anywhere to turn but here

I've been looking at sites we're not permitted to discuss.
We're here for you. Try not to go to those other sites. That's not the answer. *console
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#59
The newer one answered. She wants me to go to DBT. I can't afford it.
Insurance wouldn't cover it? Would this be seeing a different therapist, or doing a group? Would she still see you at the same time? (sorry for all the questions, I don't know much about how DBT is done and my impression it's different in different places to, and I forget where you live).

Blah. I hate it so much how often money gets in the way of the care people NEED. I'm able you were finally able to talk to her though. Was she able to help you feel a bit calmer?
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
#60
Insurance wouldn't cover it? Would this be seeing a different therapist, or doing a group? Would she still see you at the same time? (sorry for all the questions, I don't know much about how DBT is done and my impression it's different in different places to, and I forget where you live).

Blah. I hate it so much how often money gets in the way of the care people NEED. I'm able you were finally able to talk to her though. Was she able to help you feel a bit calmer?
No. I didn't talk to her. I got a text message confirming my appointment for Wednesday but it's on Thursday. So, I emailed her and that's when she responded. She said she's been in Hawaii ( I didn't know where her vacation was) and that she hadn't read my emails. I don't think they always think of the financial aspect. I mean, I CAN'T go on vacation. It isn't an option. And I am taking vacation days next week because I have to use them but all I'll be doing is going to doctors. I'm actually scared to have the time off and that's when I think about it being a good time to try and end things.

I don't know much about DBT except it's a skills class, costs a lot ( something like $200 pH) and is a huge time commitment. Doesn't matter if it could save my life. It's not possible. I'm in Arizona btw.

I started looking at TMS. I know someone from work who did it. It's every day for 6 weeks, then tapering off and it's expensive but takes insurance. I work 10 hour days so I don't know how I'd do that. I'm just so tired and want it to stop.

I was overwhelmed with Dr appointments and that's when I told my other therapist I needed to make sure I didn't have more than two a week. So, say a regular doctor appointment and her. Or a dentist and her or a doctor and a dentist...no more. But that didn't work. I have 4 appointments this week. And I haven't heard back from her. I'm feeling abandoned.
 

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