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Empathy Only Taking a break

Sleeper71

Well-Known Member
I kinda feel like I'm using it as a crutch and maybe it's making me worse, like therapy. I don't know what I am doing.
I don’t know if I’d call this place a crutch because the people on here have or are going through what you are. Some are going through completely different issues but we are all suffering from something. As for therapy...I’ve only ever had one therapist that had ever suffered from a mental illness. She was awesome. The rest sucked because they’ve never felt the pain of a mental illness, they just preached what they were taught in college.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
I don’t know if I’d call this place a crutch because the people on here have or are going through what you are. Some are going through completely different issues but we are all suffering from something. As for therapy...I’ve only ever had one therapist that had ever suffered from a mental illness. She was awesome. The rest sucked because they’ve never felt the pain of a mental illness, they just preached what they were taught in college.
Yeah, I'm not sure if this one has gone to therapy herself. She seems to be more inclined to be my friend. While I do need a friend, I need a therapist who can help me work thru these issues. They cannot be the same person. I feel so lost.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
I don't want to do this anymore. I'm worthless. I'm back to 'there's nothing wrong with you.' so, WTH is wrong??? If no one can lead me in the right direction, what's the point of asking for help. This is in every aspect of my life--personal, work, health, financial. Screw it all.
 

sinking_ship

Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I don't want to do this anymore. I'm worthless. I'm back to 'there's nothing wrong with you.' so, WTH is wrong??? If no one can lead me in the right direction, what's the point of asking for help. This is in every aspect of my life--personal, work, health, financial. Screw it all.
*hug You're not worthless. I'm sorry, I know that feeling. It's so real. But that doesn't mean it's true. I wish you could catch a break.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
*hug You're not worthless. I'm sorry, I know that feeling. It's so real. But that doesn't mean it's true. I wish you could catch a break.
I had sent my therapist an email yesterday telling her how upset I was after our appointment. She said she had just finished notes saying how good I seemed the day before. That's just pretend. After ' pretend time' I get sucked back into reality. I guess because she's the only one I have to talk to.
 

sinking_ship

Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I had sent my therapist an email yesterday telling her how upset I was after our appointment. She said she had just finished notes saying how good I seemed the day before. That's just pretend. After ' pretend time' I get sucked back into reality. I guess because she's the only one I have to talk to.
Ah yeah. Sometimes I let myself be distracted into having a nice chat with my therapist, and then he thinks I'm doing better than I am. It's a hard habit to break, the pretending.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
Ah yeah. Sometimes I let myself be distracted into having a nice chat with my therapist, and then he thinks I'm doing better than I am. It's a hard habit to break, the pretending.
It doesn't lend itself to any problem solving. Sometimes I just want to sit in that room, regardless if anyone else is there. It's not because it's in my taste, but just that it's safe. So I have a safe space once a week and then get thrown into the real world. I never did get to say goodbye to my previous therapist and I feel angry and let down that she couldn't help me. She just went on with her life. Looking back, I know she wasn't the right therapist for me because of our age difference. I voiced my concerns are the beginning but she was empathetic and I needed that. I just don't want to try anymore but I still keep doing it. I hate myself and my life. And I hate the holidays. I have nothing.
 

sinking_ship

Forum Pro
SF Supporter
I'm glad you feel safe there. It is important. I get that.

I'm sorry things are so bad. The holidays are hard for so many people, you definitely aren't alone in that. *hug
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
I'm glad you feel safe there. It is important. I get that.

I'm sorry things are so bad. The holidays are hard for so many people, you definitely aren't alone in that. *hug
I'm so frustrated and angry and sad....I'm watching Rudolph. Its making me think of when I was little and how worthless my life has become. I put a Christmas towel in the spare bathroom. No other decorations. I forget its Christmas usually until people remind me of their plans. I don't give or receive gifts. I don't have any money and no one to buy for-- not even a dog. And I can't donate gifts because I truly can't afford it. My work isn't paying me enough. There's just no freaking point.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
It's just not getting better. I don't want to go to therapy as it doesn't help resolve anything. If I don't go, I have absolutely no one to talk to. I like the new therapist but that's it. I am beyond help. My only coping mechanism is to go to bed. And there I usually have nightmares.
 

Leesa

Well-Known Member
Therapist says to me yesterday " I don't think I'm helping you." She wants to. I like her. I've read the book's she suggests. There is nothing new. She says something has to change but she doesn't know how. In the meantime, I've already been in the ER this year ( physical sick, not memtal), that is $1,000. I need $3500 in dental work and my car just cost $800 in repairs. I'm still paying a loan from getting my car fixed last spring. I had to borrow money from my mom who is on social security to pay for the car. I'm barely hanging on. I have no time nor energy to even participate in life. I continue to watch peoples` lives grow an move forward. I get road block after road block. There is no joy, there is no inclusion, there's no love. There's nothing.
 

Thauoy

Well-Known Member
I feel sorry for what you are going through. Just think that someone does care about the hurt you feel. Remember you are important and please be safe. Best wishes and hugs.
 

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