I hate leaving a message. You don't have to say much though, you can just rehearse it and then call.
That is sad that the change was so hard on you. What was it that made it so bad, do you think? Was it the new added money stress of it?
I hope you can figure out a good option
I work 45 to 50 hours a week to scrape by. My days off are Thursday and Friday. I used to see her for 90 minutes on Thursdays. It was a very calm place and although far, it was worth it because she understands me. They took insurance which was going towards my max out of pocket. With the amount of doctor appointments I have, I would have met my max out of pocket this month. So, the rest of the year would have been fully covered by insurance.
She decided to open her own practice, which I understand. She was charging me a very similar price (which I am truly grateful for) but she only does 60 minute sessions. I wouldn't be able to afford 90 minutes without it going towards max out of pocket anyway. She is only in on Monday/Tuesday and Wednesday. The only day I can go is Wednesday. It's the 'end' of the week for me and I have to go after work. The drive is the same distance but the traffic is worse. So, by the time I get there, I'm tired, in 'work mode' and aggravated by the traffic.
Her friends have a real estate business and they are renting her one of the offices. When you go in, you're in a conference room with a bunch of realtors. When she's ready I go into the office and it feels like a dark closet and like the walls are closing in. She has a white noise machine but I still hear everyone outside. I'm very sensitive to surroundings. So, when I go in I already have extra anxiety and I go into a room where I want to crawl up in a ball. I actually have found myself staring at a mirror for long periods of time and just seeing the reflection of the wall. I can't concentrate on what she is saying and I'm distracted. I leave angry and overwhelmed. Progress has completely stopped.
When I picture the door to exit the building I imagine something violent happening (not saying what) and i just collapse and die.
At first I thought I was just being resistant to change and being immature. But I've found it's not that. I made my way to this forum after my third visit. That wasn't by mistake.i just didn't connect the dots.
I didn't want to hurt her feelings because she's expanding her career and I didn't want it to seem like I was saying she has bad taste. It's not that. It's just not set up in a way that will allow progress.
I'm upset because I really do like her, know she cares and has my best interests in mind. But, this arrangement is not working.
I just don't want to start over after investing over a year and due to the fact that she is the first to ever show compassion Because of my previous experiences I'm scared. I want to see her in person one last time because I feel it's important. But I don't want to go to that office and Wednesdays are still bad.
The last time I was this upset was a year and a half ago. My dog and friend died 16 days apart. It's like an active grieving process. I'm scared and confused.
I didn't anticipate this. I had no plans or interest in finding another therapist. I felt like I finally found someone who could help me and I said this was my last stop. I wanted her to be the one to help and discontinue therapy once I was able to resolve things. But this isn't the case...I feel devastated and don't feel there is help. I've tried for so long and failed.