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Taking compliments...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by xan, Sep 28, 2010.

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  1. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    What do you do when someone compliments you?

    My instinct is to tell them they're wrong. My head tells me to compliment them back but then I worry they'll think I'm saying it because they said one first. And just saying thanks seems conceited...

    So what's the most.. natural/normal way to deal with this? :/
  2. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    This one i know. It takes practice. When i was young i felt awkward.

    What seems to work is to believe the person, be graceful, and a simple, "Thank You". That's all. If appropriate, and you don't feel awkward, you might add something relative to what they've commented on...where you bought those shoes, how much you've had to practice playing guitar, etc.

    If complimenting a personality trait, a simple thank you, is appropriate. Then one moves the convo on.

    Personally, i don't feel it is appropriate to compliment someone after you've been complimented...perhaps under special situations. Rare.

    You can always find another time to compliment them, if you feel you have reason too. Don't be fake.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Well, I used to suffer the same problem for years. I used to SI badly to cope and would get intensely suicidal. It used to feel like an attack or criticism- and mostly it was about the shit I was making at the time. The people giving them were those I didn't like/respect etc..

    I wouldn't go for complimenting them back- especially if you're not sincere. Dunno, the thought is pretty funny to think about :D

    At the moment, it depends who it's coming from. If it's from someone I like, or they seem sincere and meaning well, then yeah- it's GREAT! But if it's by someone I don't like then I get angry and just brush it off.

    It depends if I have time to say thanks; if I do, I just say thank you it's good you see/hear that, especially if it's about things I've taken so much effort/work with- because not many people can see/appreciate what I've done the last couple of yrs.

    You might find when you feel better about yourself, compliments will seem to fit, rather than clash with how you see yourself. Then again, I don't know where these compliments are coming from and your feelings about the person.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2010
  4. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    I always challenge them in my head and think they're talking rubbish but I believe the right thing to do is just say thank you.
  5. capuletjm

    capuletjm Member

    I do tell them I do not like being complimented, and therefore, could they not do so.

    They may react worse to that than you did to their original compliment. It prevents future unease. :tongue:
  6. Daijou

    Daijou Well-Known Member

    Whenever I get complimented, I usually do say thanks followed by some sort contradictory statement telling them they're wrong.
    It's mostly because of my low self esteem, and I feel bad for trying to turn down the few compliments I get.
    I also hate to compliment directly back right afterwards. It just seems so insincere, like I'm only doing it because they did. Sort of like when it's someone's birthday, and everyone around says happy birthday. If I didn't already say it, then I figure it just looks like I'm doing it because everyone else did and I'm being reminded to.
  7. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    When I'm complimented, I do say thanks, but I also deny what they say afterwards also. I have very low self esteem so most times when I hear the little compliments I get, I think people are lying to hurt my feelings or something. I use to have people pay each other to say something nice to me or ask me out so yeah. Since then I'm paranoid about compliments. :blink:
  8. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    Ive heard people complain that they hated it when their friends shot down compliments.
    Because its hard to convince them that your telling the truth when you compliment them.
    so it just goes in one ear and out the other. :/

    So I try to not say..no your wrong..even though I think it in my head :D
    but I say thankx and smile and tell them that it makes me happy..
    or give them a hug for emphasis. kinda strange I know.

    Then I wonder later if they were just saying that to test my reaction..
    so they could laugh at me if i believed them..or saying it just to be nice..
    But thats just me being paranoid.
    Its hard to beleive people sometimes though.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 29, 2010
  9. PollyAnna

    PollyAnna Account Closed

    I don't believe my compliments either. But I recheck later if they're true.
  10. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    I've got pretty much the same reaction as most of everyone here. It's a mixed feeling of awkwardness and skepticism. Did they really mean it? What's their real motive for saying such a thing anyhow? Are they mocking me?! Dammit!
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