taking my life tonight

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by kahisa, Oct 26, 2007.

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  1. kahisa

    kahisa New Member

    this is stupid, this is not a reason to die
    but now i can stop killing myself in my mind again and again each day
    and i would no longer suffer from some happy dreams
    over dosed <mod edit: method> just now, i dont know, it might work and it might not, it never worked before anyway
    was punching kicking the wall
    feeling stupid, thrown away like yesterday's newspaper again.
    my throat is dry, none is around but i have to keep my volume down
    this s a student residence, i ve been away from home for 6 years
    i make my friends feel good
    but who i trusted ruined me again and again
    every time i got hurt
    i try to accept and move on
    and trust more the next time
    only open myself to more idiotic stuff
    i can't stop me from believing in people
    believing in their scencere hope and wishes
    but i can't do this anymore
    hit my limit
    i have nothing more to give
    20 years wasted
    why love has to turn into indifference and hatred
    and this craziness
    never gonna end

    i read the suicide preventing stuff
    you people are cool coming up with all these helps
    i can withstand many things, including physical pain or whatever, i can go to work while being seriously sick
    but i think this is it
    and dont want a future
    i might have a brain to succeed in career
    i might be able to help somebody if i live on
    but i dont wish for it
    because i ve taken out too much of my soul this time
    too much of it goes into this single person
    who doesnt really know what's going on with me
    or who doesnt care anyway
    the shell has to crack

    this HAS TO END DAMN IT...
    i ve made this sound as mild as possible
    i dont want nobody to make fun of me
    i m not some attention seeking idiot
    dont be a hypocrite giving me a 'hand' just to push me down later on
    gonna explode
    too much blood in me
    marching right into hell i guess
    if there is one

    was actually thinking about send them a msg before i do everything
    since they can actually be on time carving out my organs for transplant
    damn singapore government
    suck me dry

    leave your words to my mail arctichare@hotmail.com
    flaming is welcomed too, since i dont give a fuck about nothing any more, i ll laugh at you while you re laughing at me.
    all freaking problems solved
    so relieved
    no longer need to wait for some fucking permission to die.
    i m a mistake of your freaky marriage mom and dad!
    kids in your family all end up like this
    i ll never escape this!
    ahaha =D

    just laugh harder and harder
    remember this . laugh. ugly or not just laugh!

    no more 'last words' just let me count the remaining hours.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2007
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni


    I'm so sorry that I have not seen or replied to your post until today.. i am wondering how you are doing? I can feel the sadness in what you wrote, and I hope that you are "ok".

    Jenny x
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