Long story short it's hard to find a doctor who can look past the MH issues stamped on my file. Prior to my melt-down I had physical health issues. Since what happened they've gotten some what worse (the health problems) & I know they'll be an issue with my participation in endurance competitions (mostly running & rowing). Is it considered self-destructive if I know the risks & still continue to push myself as hard I would if I had a doctor to monitor my health? I know the risks could be...bad, but I'm willing to take them. Competing is my life. Its what I do. Its how people know me.