Taking things too personally

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Endlessagony, Aug 19, 2010.

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  1. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    I hate this, I really hate this. Why do I take every little thing so personally?
    Why must I do this to myself? It's really ridiculous how I react to such small things, things have really gotten out of hand for me. Even the tiniest thing that my mind identifies as someone ignoring me has me in ruins. I know I shouldn't care but I can't stop caring, way too much.
     
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Maybe it's not the way you are taking them rather the way you are percieving them from past events?
     
  3. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Perhaps so but what do I do with these feelings? I am imprisoned inside myself and can't seem to find a way out. Even writing something completely anonymously on the internet is really hard. The fear of getting negativity towards me is so great that it's paralyzed me essentially.
     
  4. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    Try not being so negative toward yourself and you won't think others are always thinking negatively towards you.
     
  5. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Have you heard of Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD)? I have it, and i think your symtoms are what OCD is about. I could be really wrong. That's why i think you should ask a doctor if you are really in a bad phase.
     
  6. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    Lord knows I try to do this. I guess this is something that's hard to understand if you haven't experienced it first hand. I've seen many therapists, read many self help books and seen countless programs on the subject matter. I've spent literally thousands of hours pondering over my situation and my standing in this world. I guess it doesn't make sense at all this thing. Inside I am believe it or not an extremely positive person.

    My point is I am far beyond cognitive self helping, more and more it's starting to feel like I need a miracle to overcome this. I used to have this blue-eyed optimism about everything and I could always find motivation to try and be positive even if I was having nightmarish bouts of depression. Now I don't have that anymore, more and more I just feel an overwhelming emptiness inside.

    I know everything I post here is just negative ranting but it's getting unbearable to just keep it inside. If only there existed a device that could let others feel what I feel...
     
  7. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    You wouldn't be completely wrong on that, I am a pretty obsessive person about many things. However as far as I've acquainted myself with the symptoms of OCD I don't think I qualify for it. I've honestly given up on professional help here (I live in Finland btw), 3 times I've gone through trying to get help (just trying to get 1 person to understand how I feel) and it never bore any fruit. I got through past predicaments by other means than public healthcare. I was on SSRI's and it didn't help me in any way, they just made me numb and screwed up my sexdrive.
     
  8. Blue_Sky

    Blue_Sky Well-Known Member

    I know how it feels, learning to accept and love myself the way I am is what helped me.
     
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi. You sound like you're a highly sensitive person, and if that is the case, then things which others can ignore, can be very triggering for you. Here is a good website that describes it.

    http://www.hsperson.com/
     
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