Talk about suicide

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by tbomb, Jan 18, 2010.

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  1. tbomb

    tbomb New Member

    Hello,

    I got a friend at school who's mother tried to commit suicide.
    His mother is oke now, but I don't know how to talk about it with him.
    He when he starts talking about it, I change the subject couse I don't know
    what to say. Does anyone got some tips for me about what I can and can't say, couse he definatly wants to talk about it and it feels to me like I'm letting him down as a frend when I cant talk about it.

    (sorry for my grammer etc.)
     
  2. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    If he wants to talk about it, then nothing you say will trigger him since he'll already be thinking about it all. It's best to just listen, let him do most of the talking. Sometimes there could be long pauses for minutes, but it's important not to interrupt him. Where as you'll be sitting there wondering whether or not you should say something, he'll be thinking it all over in his head. He'll need to let it all out over time, who knows how long it will take. Sometimes, the best thing to say is nothing at all. Be supportive and if you feel like saying something but are too worried to, don't be worried about saying it. As I said. If he wants to talk about his mothers suicide, the odds are he's already thinking about whatever it is you're thinking of bringing up.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I agree with Wayne. And another thing you could suggest is a support group. Even suggest that you would go with your friend for the first couple until he feels comfortable about it. It would also help you to see what others have or do say and suggest. It will also help him get in control and past how he is feeling. Maybe just suggest " hey I really like trying to help, but I dont know too much about this. Let's check out a support group or something, interested?"

    I thinks it's great that your friend has you. Someone that they do feel comfortable enough to talk to about it. He really needs that right now. So do what you're doing now. Be there. It's the best you can offer and what he needs. Thanks for caring about your friend.
     
  4. TaraB3ar

    TaraB3ar Well-Known Member

    My mom tried to commit suicide and even though its been years its not something you forget. I feel its a personal/family thing so if I get to a point that I trust someone enough to tell them about it I honestly just want to tell the story. I just want someone to listen because its not something that you can talk about a lot. I mean if someone is hurting because they broke up with their significant other that is acceptable to talk about and receive lots of support, but your mother trying to kill herself isn't usually something easily talked about. So you just listening to your friend is the best thing you can do. Plus, your friend doesn't expect you to know the magical words to say to make them feel better, they just want support... You are not a therapist so I dont know how you would bring this up but for me one thing i remember most was being told that its ok to feel angry. I was so angry at my mom for hurting me and trying to leave me, but I felt so guilty being angry at her when she just almost died. So let your friend know that whatever they are feeling is completely normal and acceptable...I hope that helped somewhat
     
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