'Talk to a family member or friend' - they make it sound so easy

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Itsme:), Nov 20, 2011.

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  1. Itsme:)

    Itsme:) Well-Known Member

    Every website/any self harm advice comes with 'talk to someone you trust' but thats scary, talking about something so personal is scary the fear of them not understanding and rejecting you so strong... its no surprise that there are thousands of self harmers out there that are on a downward spiral of feeling alone.

    There are friends and family out there who may not understand fully (because I dont believe anyone really fully can unless they have experienced it themselves) but will try there best, and will want to listen.

    I know this because i'm one of them.
    My girlfriend self harms and i would never ever dream of give her any kind of negative response to her talking to me, or make her feel guilty for having cuts on her body. I've found her cutting before and never would I shout, i'd help her tend to them and then hug and talk to her.
    I don't for a second have the belief that many people think friends and family willl have that she's being stupid and should just stop or is 'attention seeking' and i know a lot of people who haven't self harmed who feel the same.

    Today i've noticed cuts on a flat mates arms and with my girlfriend starting to cut again its made me think about self harm, and people suffering.
    So I just wanted to encourage people to try and reach out, maybe bring a conversation before hand if you wanted to check their views first.
    I know its never easy to talk, but finding someone to listen will help... and can even bring you closer

    I don't come on here daily, but if anyone would like to talk, feel free to message me x
  2. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    and just to add to your post...if you trust somebody, but can't "TALK" to them or start a conversation, write it down and hand it to them. It's so much easier to do, and your thoughts are much more organized. You can say everything you need to without being interrupted.

    I could NEVER talk to people. I finally learned after 10 years of suffering in silence to write things down to tell people. Everybody has been so supportive.
  3. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I HATE it when sites say that. They make it seem like it's the easiest thing in the world. If telling someone that you are a cutter or you're suicidal was easy, then we wouldn't be in that position anyway. Our problems wouldn't have gotten that bad in the first place if talking was so easy.

    I haven't cut for over a year, and I still haven't told anybody about it, not even my best friend who started cutting himself.
  4. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I understand how people get sick of this kind of advice because yes it is so obvious. However lol... In defence of this,you have to see it is sound advice because as helpful as forums like this are,you can't get real help until you unload on a doctor or counsellor. Obviously this site might be all some people need in terms of belonging,sharing stories,advice and not feeling alone and that's great. In my situation I'm glad I had counselling over the years even tho I'm still not cured. I'm glad my family know how I feel about my life and how dysfunctional I am so I don't have to pretend. Also if I was to end my life I think my mother will understand to some extent because she knows how hard I find living,if I'd never told her she'd be mortified and forever wonder why I didn't tell her how unhappy I was. That gives me some degree of comfort that everybody knows what I'm about coz it's consumed my personality now and this is me.
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