talking about it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by IamTetsuo, Apr 25, 2013.

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  1. IamTetsuo

    IamTetsuo Well-Known Member

    Hi all, I wanted to ask about advice or experience about a particular topic - talking to others about being suicidal and your less specific problems along with that. I'm 31, been on/off depressed and suicidal for 10+ years and for about the last 6 months have pretty much stopped functioning and am thinking about suicide all the time. People around me know there's something wrong but I can't/won't open up to anyone, I just blank it and say I'm OK, or that I don't want to talk about it. Thing is, part of me really wants to talk about it, as I'm sure a lot of you can relate. As I feel that there is a real risk I may end up going through with it, I think I owe it to myself and others to at least try the option of talking about it.

    Things that are on my mind:

    - being labelled mentally ill or sectioned, particularly if talking to a medical professional. I have cut myself and have some fairly big scars on my arms and legs. Worried about being labelled 'at-risk' and this getting in the way of doing 'it', if that's the decision I make...

    - causing worry and concern to other people such as friends and family. For instance if I talk to a friend, then they'll be in a situation where they don't know what to say to me or if they should talk to my family or try to get me sectioned. If they don't do anything and I kill myself they might feel guilty...

    - again, causing worry in family and creating tension for them and also making things harder for me if I make the final call. If I tell my mum I'm thinking of killing myself I just can't see how that's going to have any positive effect in the short term, and then if I say, "I'm going away for a few days" she'll freak out...

    - talking to helplines or charities; is this helpful?

    I would be really grateful to hear if anyone else here is thinking about similar stuff, or if you have any actual experience - if you opened up to someone, or vice-versa. Is it worth talking to people, especially people close to you? Would you want a friend to open up to you? How open can you be to health care professionals and what are the dangers?

    Anyway, you get the drift lol :)
  2. RemeP

    RemeP Member

    When I was 18 I attempted suicide and failed, and at the time I had nobody to talk with about it. The next time I thought I might try it, I voluntarily committed myself for a 2 week in-patient observation. They tried different meds and stuff that didn't help, but I found the group therapy sessions pretty helpful. Since then, I haven't talked to anyone I know about my ideations because, like you say, fear of being forced into an institution, how my family might react, etc. Today (28) I talked to a crisis chat counselor, and it was surprisingly helpful. They listen to you, don't judge you, (at times feels a little like cookie cutter responses) but you realize there's a real person on the other end volunteering their time in order to help people like you who are hurting. I'm hesitant to try a phone #, but I would recommend a chat, at least once.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun no one will label you if you call and just talk about how sad you are You doctor can get you some therapy without labeling you It hurts too much to keep all that sadness bottled up inside you hun Please talk to someone because it does help hugs
  4. Count Floyd

    Count Floyd Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I personally could never tell anyone. It's not something that can be taken back. You will be labeld as the "guy who wanted to kill himself." I don't like talking to people in general, let alone about something so personal. I hope I can make it and not kill myself and who knows, maybe I'll live to 90. But I'd rather be depressed and suicidal and end up living to 90 than being known as the guy who wanted to kill himself and living to 90. Nothing anyone says is going to help me, so why bother physically telling anyone. I tried it with doctors years ago, did nothing. Meds do nothing. I'm worse now than ever. It's better to keep it to myself and hope I can keep on going. And if I can't, then so be it.
  5. IamTetsuo

    IamTetsuo Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. The chat sounds like a good place to start - i.e. the easiest and least problematic! Things might be able to develop from there.

    This is the thing with telling anyone close to you. You can't take it back and it turns into the elephant in the room and you wish it had never been said. This is the main reason I'm so reluctant to tell people anything. At the moment I don't think anything anyone can say will help,, and really I don't know if I want help - I'm more afraid of living another 30 years than of dying. It makes me feel it would be selfish to talk to a doctor or therapist and waste their time or talk to a friend and stress them out if I'm not really looking for help. Guess you don't know till you try... some people seem to say it helps, some don't.
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