Talking to a doctor?

[barto]

Well, I have a doctors appointment coming up...not imminent, but soon enough, and I'm thinking of coming clean about my depression to my doctor and asking about therapy.

I've tried talking to my doctor before, but whenever she asks those questions, I answer them honestly and she gives me this awful, judgmental look. I can't stand it cover it with a joke. I live in a small town and word spreads fast, so I'm always weary about talking about anything personal. And with this particular subject, my mother is probably going to act out of anger and shame...even though that hardly makes sense...it's just how she operates.

Don't get me wrong, I loathe the idea of therapy completely, but after 7 recommendations for it, an eating disorder, insomnia, years of self harm, and a suicide attempt that nobody knows about, it's just time.

Does anybody have any ideas about bringing up the subject? Short of "Hey, I tried to kill myself and need therapy"?

 

[dazzle11215]

you could warn her you have something serious to talk about but when you get nervous you start joking. tell her to ignore your jokes. then come clean. i had the same conversation with my doctor. actually, twice, once with a new doctor after i moved towns. it went well. i got a referral for therapy and some good advice (about going to the ER next time i felt suicidal). i now have a great relationship with my doc. i feel i can tell him everything. it was scary at first but i know you can do it. i believe in you.

 

[barto]

Thank you for the advice I just wish I wasn't so..eh, painfully awkward

 

[dazzle11215]

you could write down what you wanted to say in a letter, hand it to her and ask her to read it. then say you are happy to answer any questions after. that way you've broken the ice, in a sense, and remembered to get all the important stuff down. fewer surprises, too.

 

[peacelovingguy]

I'd say relax, but who does when in a doctors surgery? My heart beats faster just looking at the posters advertising various ailments and illness. Cancer posters, lung disease, posters with cheerful people advertising cheerless matters. Grey haired men looking all forlorn as the posters asks Do you have difficulty with erectile dysfunction? I guess I do now after reading the Wall of Death.

Anyhow, doctors know patients get nervous. With you - all you need to do is mention the depression, which gives you the chance to talk about whether or not you feel like killing yourself. My doctor just asks this straight, which is a good thing. I got offered therapy -but my doctor agreed that for some, it can be a waste of time.

Doctors are duty bound to recommend therapy for you if you intimate that you feel like dying sometimes and cannot enjoy anything. That and maybe anti depressant medication is all they can offer. To cover themselves they have to do this. Many will genuinely care as they have seen what depression can do.

You should be told you'll hear from the local authorities re therapy and as for doctors gossiping abut patients, its illegal and could get them in trouble. You could sue if someone for example posted material online about your condition. I've never known this to happen ever and know some people who work in the medical scene. Sure they talk about patients, but never by name and only if its relevant. Depression and therapy is so common that you should not be feeling any shame about having it or needing it.

Just take the plunge, book the appointment and as stated, write a letter or at least write a list of the main points that matter. You could print off your original post and hand that over.

It says enough for any doctor to take you seriously and to put into motion the therapy.

Medication might help also.

As for your mum, she should take comfort that you are getting some help. Shame is part of what you go through - and its an emotion which can be right to have. With depression, its usually way off the mark. Nobody would feel ashamed if the doctor diagnosed them with diabetes for instance. Nor would they feel shame that a child was diagnosed.

Depression is just another illness. People around you have to realise that one way or another. Maybe you ought to tell your mum when you have the therapy. That way you have support if she seems unable to cope. A good therapist will suggest how to broach the subject and open your eyes as to how you might impact on others when you are down.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[may71]

would you be able to see a different md? I think that if you got a referral to a psychiatrist, that might be best.

I don't know how your insurance works, if you can see someone in the mental health field without an md referral

I wonder if a crisis line could have more info about medical help in your area?

I'm not sure if I understand what you were saying about your mom, so she would just want to deny that there is a problem out of fear?