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Talking to myself [5]

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AnguishExistence, Jul 8, 2016.

  1. AnguishExistence

    AnguishExistence Breathe. SF Author

    So today, I was scrolling through Facebook- probably the worse thing to do in anyone's life now [heh]. I saw a post from my mom where she says "I love love LOVE all of my children!" I got excited so I continued to read on since me and my mom haven't gotten along since I was a child. Yeah, I should've stopped at the first line. She goes on to talk about her seven children, her boys. I read all through the end. I have two sisters from my mom and adding me.. she has ten kids. We were never mentioned- my sisters and myself.

    It hurt a little bit, not like before though. Somewhere in my mind, soul, and heart I knew it was going to happen. I had a little hope though. She isn't the only reason I ended up the way I am, but she is the base of my triggers. I love my brothers, I don't have anger towards them in the least, but I am a little jealous. I guess I'm the one that didn't come out doing well (I'm first born of both parents).

    I envy people with good standing relationships with their parents. I get angry when people don't treat their parents with respect (and I know the parents are good parents). I feel like people who have supportive, loving parents that actually try are lucky. Hope I'll get over this kind of thing eventually. It's been way too long. I guess that's my rant for the day.