Talking to the family is the hardest

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by suicidaldude, Jun 5, 2007.

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  1. suicidaldude

    suicidaldude New Member

    Hi everybody, I will bother you with my story for a while.

    I have recently made 3 suicide attemps, including 2 with medicines. I don't think I am promoting any means by saying that these don't work, and that one shouldn't use medicines. It's not dangerous, just plain stupid. And your liver is gonna hurt like hell.

    After these unfortunate attempts, I decided to wait a while, tell people in my family about this, then do it again. I thought I would give them an occasion to understand why I am doing it. I thought this way they would feel better when I finally do it, not as guilty and everything.

    It quite didn't turn out this way. They are all desperate to help me, they don't understand, they harass me to find some other solution than suicide, and to be honest it is becoming quite bothering. They simply will not let go. It is already difficult enough for me to prepare for death and the subsequent "after" part, I can't deal with this right now.

    So if you ever get the usual "If you think about suicide, please tell your family about it", don't even bother listening to the advice. It does not make things better, in fact it makes them worse. I tried initiating contact with my mom about this again, because last time she threatened me to do it too if I went ahead -the difference being that she has 2 other kids, so she pretty much accepted responsibilities, while I never asked for all this sh*t. And this time, she just won't accept to talk.

    So now I just have to go ahead without trying to tell them or comfort them. That makes it harder. So if you are contemplating suicide and are serious about this, don't talk to your family unlike what preachy people try to have you do. There is no point to it.
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Thanks for sharing your story with us. I was highly suicidal when I was younger, and it still surprises me that I'm alive today. I think in the end, it was my curiosity that prevented me from giving in to the urges. I wanted to see what the future would hold, and if the pain would ever subside.

    I don't think the pain has ended, I've just grown more accustomed to it, if you know what I mean. There will always be times when it seems too much to handle, and other times when it's just hidden in the back of my mind, overshadowed by the intensity of the moment. I try to focus more on living in the present now, I tend to get lost in the subtleties of life. My imagination is usually my form of escape from troubling thoughts. That's why I've always been interested in art & literature in general, it provides that release for me. It's important for everyone to maintain some interest or hobby to vent your daily stresses.

    For me at least, life is a pretty constant struggle, so I'm not going to pretend that it will get better or anything. Some people adjust, others don't. You'll never know until you give it a shot. I'm not against suicide either. I believe that's your right, if you choose to end your life. There are other options though, so just keep that in mind, and know that suicide is always there for you if life gets too intense to handle.

    You're right about chemical ingestion being a poor form of suicide. It's more likely to make people sick, cause bodily damage, and end up in a hospital. The majority of ODs don't cause death. This is because the body will reject the substances the majority of the time, and people vomit it up involuntarily. This can happen in unconscious states as well. Many people also don't realize that a large dosage of a chemical doesn't necessarily mean that it will effectively shut down the human body. Humans are often naturally designed to survive against all odds.

    When I was suicidal, I eventually gave in and told my parents too, as you did. I think most people feel inclined to communicate their intentions to others at some point, it's just human nature to do so. It's common for most people to highly oppose your wishes. I'm pro-choice on suicide, so I won't oppose your wishes or anyone else's. I believe the individual must decide on his or her own, and I'll do my best to help you choose the right path. You should consider all your options and the resources available to you. There are people out there who are willing to help you, even if life seems futile now.

    I'm here to offer you new perspectives, to respect your opinions, and to provide conversation if you need it. Feel free to post or contact me through PM to discuss your thoughts further. All humans deserve to enjoy life, though it's not always possible for all of us in reality. Let us know how things are going, I'm sure you'll find many others on this board you can relate to. Take care.
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2007
  3. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    Sounds like your family just loves you a lot and they don't want to see you end it all. Some would see that as them being selfish -- others see it as them being wise. Personally, I hope you find a way to hang in there. Still, I know how it is when the pain triumphs over everything else.

    I agree -- an attempted OD is a painful a** lesson on the mechanics of the human body's rejection of foreign substances. How do I know? Let's just say a 15 y/o guy couldn't find his grandfather's handgun so instead I...ummmm...he...decided to raid the medicine cabinet instead. Dumb move. I was violently ill for 2 days straight and felt like crap for another few days. My dad was overseas and my mom was working so they didn't even notice. I just said I was 'sick' and that was that. :rolleyes:

    I never told my mom (and definitely not my dad) about the attempts or daily struggle to fight the urge to pull the trigger and call it a day. But I did see a psychologist for a while and, honestly, it did help. I stopped going but I wouldn't rule out going back, even if it's just for a professional opinion. Seeing a pro is not a bad way to go.

    I hope things get better as time passes. God bless.
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